Last night was...rough. I had one of "those" nights. It was good until I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor crying about "what should have been." It's the whole "how did I end up here?" scenario. I know how I got to this point. But, I don't know why and I probably won't for a while. Most of the time, I'm ok with this life we chose. Most of the time I can handle it. Most of the time, I can deal with the separation. I can't deal with it all of the time. I can't always deal with the separation - the life we never planned. Sometimes, it downright sucks.
That's where I was last night. I did my crying out to God (literally); my "why" and "what for"s. It doesn't really do any good or change anything, but darn it if it doesn't help! Especially once I told God how I really feel. I mean, He already knows (yeah, He's that good) but it helps to tell Him. I mean, He is my Father... Who doesn't like to tell their dad how they really feel? I wasn't rude about it, but I was honest. And that's all God wants. In the end, I felt better. The situation still sucks, but getting it out helps.
Even though I completely forgot about a meeting I had this morning (thanks, deployment brain!) and almost forgot about volunteering at the museum, it was a good day. Since I missed the meeting, I was able to chat with Joe for a while. Not on Skype (again!) because Joe's internet is being ridiculous as usual. I honestly think it's because of his new work schedule. We used to talk at different times and it worked fine, so there must be something to it.
It was rainy and cool today, too. I like the cool relief from all the sun. Though the sun has been a bit less harsh lately. I'm always thankful for that. I also found myself doing this in the car today:
Notice the temp? 72℉ and I'm turning it over to "warm."
I think it's safe to say I've acclimated, don't you?
I found myself laughing my butt of while I was working at the museum today. It was great. And I learned something new! It's a database/computer thing, so I won't bore you with the details.
I also remembered how alike my friend Meagan and I are. Seriously. Our lives are so much the same that it's sometimes ridiculous. We first realized this when we were in college and found ourselves in some...interesting and difficult relationships. I'll never forget that spring/summer. We'd meet at a local park, walk (because we were trying to get in shape/lose weight...as if we needed to) and do some seriously good talking. We'd also meet at a local coffee shop. Ah, the good 'ole days. ;-) Today she posted something on her blog that made me think, "Yes!! I feel exactly the same way!!" Same situation, same feelings, oh my goodness! One of the best things about our friendship is that we can not speak for let's say, 4 months, and then pick up right where we left off. No awkwardness, no "sorry it's been a while," nothing like that. It's simple. Another thing I love is our crazy, awkward, sometimes gross conversations. =P We've had these kinds of talks before, so it's nothing new but it's still funny. All I can say is "glitter glue," Meagan. LOL! {Yeah, she reads my blog. She has a blog too, and you should check it out. 'Cause she's freakin' awesome.}
I also want some cute Christmas cards from Shutterfly!! I found out the other day that they will give free cards to bloggers if you write up a post for them. I'm hoping this is true because their cards are super-freakin-cute and I want them!! I really want to do photo cards this year, without breaking the budget. Here's hoping I get some cards! *fingers crossed* If you want to try to get some too, all you have to do is go here and sign up. Easy breezy! Here's just one of their cards. The have a whole lot more.
One last thing before I go. My super, super cute niece
Isn't she just the cutest thing ever?! I think so. =) I just wanna pick her up and give her a whole bunch of kisses! Someone seriously needs to invent teleporting soon. Seriously. ;-)
Happy Hump Day!
P.S. Don't forget to start sending me your photos for this week's Fall Foto Contest!
Sarah,goodness you are so inspiring I have felt that way to and it sucks. I'm glad you are so positive. I'm glad yóu together with a good friend,they are the best! Hope the weather acclimation goes well lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm going through that too. All of the what if's and holy crap, why oh why's!
ReplyDeleteYour niece is adorable!
Sending hugs girlie!!!! We all go through the crying on the bathroom floor and letting it all out. I think everyone NEEDS to do that at some point. It is a hard life being a milspouse...but you are one brave women! Don't forget that!!!
ReplyDeleteI love that you had the heat on in your car at 72 degrees. You will freeze whenever you get state side again. LOL!
Love the blogging for Shutterfly! Hopefully that is true for you! That is awesome!
hey btw there is a award for you over at my blog!
ReplyDeleteNothing feels as good as letting God soothe you. Had one of those days recently myself.
ReplyDelete