Woes of Moving

The movers come, you know, tomorrow and here I am writing up a blog post instead of doing one of the many more productive things I should be doing. But that's the problem. There's so many things I could - and should - be doing, that I just really can't do anything. 

I'm trying, but I just can't quite wrap my brain around the chaos that will ensue tomorrow morning. Boxes. Paper. Loud tape machines. House full of strangers, touching my things. A truck that will encase all of our belongings. 

This will be our 4th PCS and I still can't get used to the idea. Of course, it's different now that we have kids. Isn't everything? It's not just the fact that people will be in our house packing our things. It's that I have to take care of the kids, too. I have to be 'hall monitor' and mommy. Like, what am I going to do about naps? And snacks? And lunch? Toys? TV? How do I contain the children?! It's just one day, and I know we'll make it through, but the logistics of it all is making my brain hurt. {Not to mention AF decided to show up this week so I have all the hormones raging, too.}

We also have to worry/think about the house we're leaving, too. We bought this house shortly after moving here, and now we're faced with renting it. No one has signed a lease yet. We're hoping someone will sign one soon and we'll have less to worry about, but there's nothing like having a mortgage payment and rent hanging over your head. Not to mention utilities. 

Then there's the fact that I'm really not looking forward to moving to a new place, not really. I really, really, really like living here. Despite the trouble I've had making friends, we did find a really great church less than 5 minutes from our house and I would love to be more involved. Everything I need store-wise is less than a half-hour away from me. The town we live in is small, and yet we have access to everything we need and more. We have pretty great medical care here, which can be very hard to find. 

And if I let myself think about it long enough, it makes me sad to leave this place. I don't want to go. I want to stay here in this house that is mine, and fix it up exactly the way I want it. (I had so many plans that I didn't get to do!) I'll miss the large backyard, privacy fence, and the porch. I'll miss being close to so many things, yet far enough away from the bustle of town. But most of all, I think I'll miss this house the most because it's our house, and because we became a family of four here. 

There is a small possibility we could move back in the future but until then, I'll hang on to all the great memories we made here.


All Things New: New Year, New House, New Town

Here we are. 2015. Anyone else clueless as to where the last year went? I swear I just had a newborn a few weeks ago....not a baby who just turned 1. (Still can't get used to that!)

2014 was not the best year for me. I feel like I struggled my way through most of it. The difficulties weren't just any one thing, but all of it combined. It wasn't just that I had 2 under 2, or that my sweet baby had colic, or that my hubs was gone for a month of that mess, or the ice storm, or that I finally recognized the symptoms of PPD. (And that was just the first 3 months!) A whole lot more happened, too -- not all of it bad. It just seems like the year as a whole was difficult.

And right in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Joe got orders. So, hey! We're moving! I'm really not excited about it, but I'm really trying to have a better attitude about it. Although I will miss where we live now (seriously in love with this area), and hate being forced to move and rent out our house, I know good things will come of this, too. There are always good things about moving -- a new house to decorate, potential for new friends, a new area to explore (hello, Savannah!), and who knows what else. 

So in an attempt to have a better attitude about all of this.....I've set some goals for myself for this year. And yes, I joined the #olw (One Little Word) bandwagon, too.

I know that several of my goals for the year can be accomplished within the first couple of months, but I'm trying to go easy on myself here. ;-) It took us forever to unpack when we moved in to this house, and we just had Charlotte then. (Although I was pregnant at the time.) I really have no clue how I'm going to handle the girls with the movers coming next week, (!!!) so I feel pretty sure that unpacking is going to be a slooooow process. I've also been extremely stressed about moving out/moving in/finding renters, so "survive PCSing" is an extremely legitimate goal for the year. I won't lie: I have considered begging my doctor for some anxiety meds. It's been that tough. But I also have a tendency to fixate.....so..... Yeah.

Once we're all settled in, I really need to set up a routine. I'd like to do some 'tot school' things with Charlotte, get her fully potty trained (seeing the light at the end of the tunnel there, though!), and also start working out again. I hate to admit it, but I haven't lost anything since Millie was born. *gulp* I was so snowed under with her colic and my PPD and everything else that I just couldn't even think about it for a while. And then....habits were habits and....yeah. So, routine goals: homeschool stuff for Charlotte, working out, and daily quiet time.

My meet neighbors & try MOPS/PWOC goals stem from my one little word for the year. 

Okay, I guess that is technically a phrase. It's still applicable. 

I am nothing if not an introvert. I hate large social situations, especially those where I don't know anyone. I tend to either clam up when I meet new people or (and I'm not sure which is worse) blurt out random things...and then feel extremely awkward for the rest of the event. I've gotten better over the years (and moves), but it's still very hard for me. This is probably part of the reason that I'm leaving this place with zero friends. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration; I have friends. However I don't have the come-over-to-my-messy-house-and-say-nothing-and-just-hang-out friends here. Nope. 

Anyway, so BE BRAVE -- in order to actually make friends, I'm going to have to get out of my comfort zone (read: my house). I'm going to have to make plans, invite people over, be uncomfortable, be honest, and be real. It's not easy

No matter what my fears, if I'm going to step out of this funk - if I want to make any friends - I've got to be courageous. I love the definition there -- not deterred by danger or pain. There may not be any real, physical danger in putting yourself out there and attempting to make friends, but there is a certain...emotional danger. And there is definitely pain in rejection of any form. 

And as far as my Jamberry business is concerned, I'm not going to make any progress or meet any of the goals I have if I just play it safe. I'm going to have to step out, take chances, and try new things. I know I haven't talked about Jamberry just a whole ton here (and to be honest, it's probably part of the reason I haven't blogged much in the last few months), but I really love it. I haven't done all that fantastically in the last few months, but I think it's more to do with me not getting out of my comfort zone as much as I need to.

So clearly, Be Brave is definitely the key for me this year. Be brave in business, in friends, and in trusting God. {Because, let's face it, that's probably the root of a lot of my problems. Namely my bent on worrying about ev-er-y-thing.}

So what's your #olw (One Little Word) or phrase for the year? Here's hoping for a much better 2015 for all of you, too, friends!