9.29.2009

It's Almost Over!

Right now, I'm laying on a bed in a hotel room in Columbus, GA! That's right folks, just a few miles from Fort Benning!! Tomorrow at 7:45 a.m., I will be leaving to go see the hubby for the first time in 10 weeks!!! Oh, I am so excited!!!

He got to call me on Sunday night. =D It was a 30 minute phone call, full of "I can't wait to see you"s. =) That, and him talking 90 miles an hour because he's so excited to be finished with Basic. I keep trying to imagine him with the Army hair cut, in uniform, and 20 pounds lighter than the last time I saw him. It's not working so well!! No matter how hard I try, I just can't picture it!! Doesn't matter though, because I'll be spending tomorrow with him!

The drive here was definitely an adventure! My lovely GPS took me straight through downtown Atlanta. Yes, folks, I said Atlanta. Me, small town girl, driving in INSANE traffic in Atlanta. I seriously almost had a panic attack. I've never seen so much traffic in my life!!! I'm dreading going back through it. =/ At least on the way here I had something to look forward to. Not so much on the way home. Other than that, my drive was pretty uneventful. Although I will say that having a GPS is a Godsend! I would literally be lost without that thing! Well, that and my trusty iPod. =) Thanks to the GPS, I got to GA safely; and thanks to my iPod, I was entertained for 7 hours. Haha! Oh, and thanks to all those who called me to keep me awake. There were a few times I started to get sleepy, but I made it through! I'm not so sure my back likes me right now, but I'm sure after some rest tonight it'll be as good as new!

Can't wait to see my hubby tomorrow!!! I've missed him so much!

9.26.2009

Nothin' But the Rain

That is what my day has been. Lots and lots of rain. Not in downpours, though. In a light mist that has been constant. It did rain harder an hour or so ago, but it's been mist for the rest of the day. I have really enjoyed it. I know that is very strange, but I've liked the mist. When I talked to my mom earlier, she said it's that way in England a lot, so I'm guessing that could be why I like it. I was born in London, but only lived there for about 6-8 months. I was lucky enough to have been born there, but not lucky enough to remember it or to get the accent. =) Such is life.

I have been very productive today, despite the laziness that rain makes me feel. I cleaned the entire house (with the exception of the spare room...aka junk room)!! I did dishes, cleaned the counter tops, dusted the kitchen table, moved flowers in the center of the table and put the pumpkin plate on the 'drink' table, swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted everywhere else, and cleaned the bathroom. Whew! Of course, there is now a pile of dishes in the sink, but that's what happens when you cook. I made a pot of chili this evening. A good rainy, cool day calls for some chili, so that's what I did. I even took most of it to Joe's grandparents. His grandmother is sick and I had agreed to take them dinner tonight anyway. =) So, I got some chili too! Besides, it's a really cheap dinner. I've done two loads of laundry so far...not sure if I'll do anymore. I need to get in bed early tonight. I stayed up talking to Melissa on the phone until 3 a.m.(EST)! I haven't done that in years! My usual bedtime is around 11:30, and 10:30 when the hubby is here. I rarely stay up past midnight on the weekends. =) I suppose a good girlie chat is needed every once in a while, though.

So, now that my day is coming to a close, I'm missing the hubby. I know I've only got 4 days left, but I still miss him. It's hard not knowing what is going on with him. I would love to get a phone call tomorrow, and I plan on keeping my phone with me at all times, as usual. Somehow, I just don't think it's going to happen and I don't want to get my hopes up thinking he'll call. That never makes things better. I'm happy thinking that I'll be seeing him in just a few days, but it would be nice to know how he is and how excited he is about graduating...and seeing me, of course! =) I suppose I just miss talking to my best friend. It's been a long 2 months. I'm glad it's coming to a close; I just wish that I could speak to him.

9.25.2009

It's Coming to an End...

Joe's Basic Training, that is. =) I can hardly contain my excitement!!!! Only 5 days to go! And yet, it seems so surreal. I've spent these last 2 months by myself...missing him constantly. Now that the time is almost here, I just can't believe it. I'm also worried.

Last Saturday, I got a letter from Joe. That in itself was very strange; I usually get letters on Monday and/or Thursday thanks to snail mail. In the 3 page letter (also very strange, even for my husband), he told me about the troubles that were going on in his platoon. Apparently, 3 guys in his platoon decided that, since they were so close to finishin
g BCT, they could go to the PX and buy whatever they wanted. WRONG! They got caught by one of their DSs buying candy, cokes, and XXX magazines...big no-no during BCT. So, what do you think happens in an Army of One? all of them get punished. Awesome. They got all of their privileges taken away, and were threatened with not being able to leave the base on Family Day. That just happens to be the day I've longed for since Day 1. =/ Ugh. What's a girl to do? So, needless to say, I haven't had a phone call since then. Nor have I gotten any letters. Which is weird, because I always get letters!! Where are my letters?! I love love love getting letters! Where are they? Ugh. I think that worries me more than not getting any phone calls. I just hate not knowing what's going on. I mean, I know he's ok, but...I suppose not knowing what to expect is more scary.

I do know that he's probably going to the PX again soon, which is good. How do I know, you ask? Well, my lovely husband withdrew $100 from my account today. Grrrrrrr. I'm sure he needs it, but seriously?! A girl can't get a warning phone call? I kinda need to know when my hubby takes out that kind of money! No, it's not a big deal, but
what if I needed that for a bill? Then, we'd be in some trouble. I suppose it's a good thing I didn't really need it.

So, I realized today that on Tuesday, I'll be driving through 2 states that I've never been to before. Interesting! That is definitely going to be an adventure! I'm sort of sad that I won't get to stop anywhere along the way. Oh well. It's not like I want to stop by myself. Awkward! I also want to get there as quickly as possible! Although, I won't be able to see him until Wednesday. Even then, there's the whole ceremony in the morning and then I'll be able to spend time with him. I feel bad for him...only his parents and I will be going to his graduation. =( It's a big deal and I know he wants his whole family there. I know he'll be happy to see me and his parents, but I know part of him will be missing everyone else. One of h
is sisters can't travel because she's pregnant and is having trouble with her back, so sitting in a car for 7 hours isn't exactly going to be good for her. Not to mention she doesn't have any vacation time, nor does her husband. His other sister can't get off work, and our nephew has school. Then, his brother can't get off work - low man on the totem pole and everything. His grandparents were planning on going, but now his grandma has pneumonia. =( Poor hubby.

The more I think that I'm going to see him in a little less than 5 days, the more I miss him! Is that strange? I just can't wait to see his face, his pretty blue eyes...to hold him. =) *sigh* I even miss hearing his voice. Of course, a quick call to my voicemail can fix that, but it's not quite the same. I miss my best friend. And, in just a few days, I'll be seeing him again. What a gift that will be. =) I can't wait! ** I really love this picture. =) this will be Joe and I in a few days! **

9.17.2009

So, What Now?

Alright, here's my dilemma: what the heck am I going to do with the rest of my life?!

1 year ago, I graduated from UAFS with a Bachelor's Degree in History with Teacher Licensure, fully confident that I would be a teacher within the next few months. I got married and moved to North Carolina, where I was certain things were going to turn out just peachy for me. I was working at Chili's and desperately seeking a teaching position. After 2 months, my husband got a job working with computers. I, however, stayed at Chili's and applied to be a substitute teacher in the area. In the next two months, I received two calls to sub which would not replace my income at Chili's.

In February, my husband lost his job. I kept my job at Chili's so we would have an income. He went to a job fair, and a month later was enlisted in the Army. Between the time that he enlisted and left for Basic, he found a part time job. Needless to say, I stayed at Chili's.

Now, we have a steady income. I don't have to worry about where the money is going to come from, because I'm fairly certain that the Army doesn't fire anyone. =) So, I have options now! And there is my problem! For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to teach. I still do, but I just don't know if it's what God really wants for me. You know? Besides that, I really hate getting up at 6 a.m. =) That becomes a problem in teaching... So, if that option is out, then what? I could apply at a pharmacy to be a pharmacy tech. again, but who is hiring right now? No one. Or I could kick it up a notch with Mary Kay. I just don't think that not working is something I'm interested in. With Mary Kay, I'd be home 24/7. I'm not sure I can handle that. Because, once the house is clean, what else is there for me to do? I don't have any kids to take care of. Then there's the writing thing. It's something I've been thinking of lately. Several people have mentioned to me that I have a gift for writing. Yes, I like to write, but a gift? I'm not sure. It would be nice to write again; I wrote a lot in college, and I liked it. I've always liked writing essays; writing for a living might be nice.

So obviously, you can see my dilemma. Ideas? Suggestions? I need some help!!!!

9.16.2009

What is Marriage, Anyway?

So, today at work I walked into a very interesting conversation. I was insanely bored - the rain always does weird things to the restaurant business - so, I walked to the back to see what was going on. Two of the managers in training and a couple of my co-workers were talking about relationships. It hurt me deeply to hear the things they said about marriage, dating, and relationships.

As I entered the conversation, one person was talking about cheating, I think. She was basically asking the to other guy how men could do that...a relati
vely normal topic. Then the conversation leaned toward marriage and divorce. I told them that divorce is NOT an option for me. Never. Joe and I talked about it before we got married and neither of us thinks that divorce is an answer to any problems we have as a couple. Then, she asked me, "What if he started doing crack, sleeping with other women, and has a kid? What then?" I told her that no, I wouldn't divorce him. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be mad as hell, but I'm not going to divorce him. Because, obviously, if he's doing things like that then he needs help! I'm not worried about my husband doing any of that, because that's not who he is.

Then, they started talking about how divorce is al
ways an option...The only male in this conversation has been divorced, just to give you a perspective. Then, she said something about how she'd never get married if divorce wasn't an option. Here's my thought: if you enter into marriage thinking, simply thinking, that divorce is an option then you're probably much more likely to actually get a divorce. If you get married thinking, "Oh well, if he ticks me off or does something I don't like, then I can always divorce him" then what's stopping you?! And what makes you want to marry him in the first place?! If you think you're gonna get mad at him, or have a fight, or whatever, and you can just get a divorce, why even get married?! This just breaks my heart.

Marriage is supposed to be for life, not for "right no
w". That's the way God intended it. That's why he created Eve - so that man would have a companion, a help mate. He didn't create Eve so that Adam would be able to have sex. No, he created her to be with Adam to help him through life and all that comes with it. Now, obviously, things went awry in the Garden and Adam and Eve went from perfect, happy people to sinful and utterly messed up people. Thanks a lot! ;-) In all seriousness though, marriage isn't something to enter into lightly. If you don't think you can commit to someone for the next 5 years (let alone 50), why even think about getting married?

People don't even talk before they get married. They don't discuss their expectations, issues, or deep feelings. Which is, I think, part of the prob
lem. If couples merely talked about how they feel or what they expect of marriage, marriages might actually last!

I think that premarital counseling is the best thing Jo
e and I did for our marriage. I'm going to be honest, I was not excited about it. =) In fact, I was a little upset that we 'needed' it. But, our pastor (who just happens to be my father-in-law) told us that he required it of all the couples he married. *sigh* So, off we went to counseling. Most people think counseling is a load of junk, but it was amazing! Hard, but amazing. He asked us questions that we probably would have NEVER asked ourselves. He challenged us, he encouraged us, and he made us talk about our feelings and expectations. We talked about how we felt about each other, what we loved most about the other, and what our ideas of marriage were. Who on earth actually thinks about that stuff?? Certainly not us! Of course, our counselor is also a Christian, and someone we could both trust. It was so worth it. Because now, knowing that I can trust my thoughts, ideas, and feelings with my husband, I can tell him anything without worrying about it. I thought he was my best friend before we got married...now, I can tell you he is definitely, completely my best friend - the only person I can trust with my heart, soul, mind, and body.

I don't have to worry if he's going to cheat, be
cause I know his heart. I know that he could never do that to me. I don't worry if he's going to do something illegal or whatever...I know him. I know that he loves me, even though he's not here to tell me that. I know that even though I think I could stand to lose some weight, he thinks I'm beautiful anyway. That's the way it should be.

Oh, to see these people walking around thinking that divorce is the answer to a big fight just kills me. Fighting, or arguing, is a part of being in a relationship!! The answer to fighting is to talk about why you're upset. Tell your significant other what made you upset; don't be afraid to talk about it. Communicate, then find a solution or compromise. People are so selfish these days. It's not just about you, relationships are about the other person too, whether you're married or not.

Conversations like then one I walked into today make me so unbelievably thankful for what God has given me. A few years ago, I never would have thought that I would be here... I have a wonderful, godly husband, who just happens to be my best friend. I can completely be myself with him, and not worry what he's going to think. I can trust that just because I get mad at him or he gets mad at me, that he's not going to up and decide to divorce me. That is not an option for us...because God intended that we be married for the rest of our lives.

9.11.2009

The Countdown Continues...

And I'm so ready for it to be over!! Ugh! I know it's only 19 more days, but I don't know how much more I can take! I talked to him for 20 minutes tonight. *sigh* It almost makes me miss him more. Although, I was missing him tonight so talking to him helped a lot. Even though he talked mostly about what they'd been doing in training lately...I still like to hear his voice. =)

It was so funny listening to him talking about shooting rifles. He was so excited to shoot off a .50 cal. Oh, and the rocket launcher. I knew he liked guns and stuff, but I had no idea! He's so cute. =) I can't wait to see him. He told me that they get their "dress" uniforms either next week or the week after. That's what I'm excited about! Digital camo uniforms? No, thank you! I'll take dress uniforms. =D Any guy can look hot in those...especially mine! Haha!

It's back to work next week. =( I'm not really excited about that. I suppose it will be nice to be around people, but I've really liked sleeping in...not waking up to a blaring alarm. It's nice to not have a schedule or agenda to keep. Oh well. Maybe I'll be able to do something I really like soon. I'm so tired of going to a job that - not only am I not interested in - I'm sick of. I've been there wayyy too long, and I hate being treated (by customers) like I'm an idiot because I don't have a "real job". They don't know that I have a bachelor's degree in history and I'm sure most of them don't care. But, a few months ago, I was happy to have a job that paid the bills because that's what we needed - money. But, now? Ugh. We still need to pay off bills, but...I'm looking forward to finding something else. I've thought about subbing - I did go to school to teach - but I don't know about that anymore. I loathe getting up before 8, let alone getting up at 6. =/ Then there's pharmacy tech...which I loved doing, but I'm worried that no one is hiring. And then there's Mary Kay. I became a consultant at the end of Feb., but I haven't done anything with it. Literally. I bought the stuff, and haven't really gone anywhere with it. I'm not as excited as I once was about it and now...ugh, I just don't know!!! I know I need to pray about it, and I have been...but, I haven't heard yet. And no matter what, I just keep worrying about it. I know I shouldn't but, it's hard to let go. Maybe one day I'll get the hang of this.

So, for the next 19 days, I'm going to keep myself as busy as possible. Working, scrapbooking, reading, praying...*sigh* Can't wait until I can get back to 'normal'.

9.07.2009

Love Story...

Today has been a little rough. Although, the day started off well. =) I got up, had breakfast, made cupcakes for family lunch...then I talked to Joe! =D A wonderful, 15 minute phone call. *sigh* Those are so lovely. Normally, we get the occasional 5 minute phone call. Which, if you have never experienced this, is long enough to say 'hi, how ya doing, i love you, bye.' No fun. 15 or 20 minutes is like heaven compared to 5. It's strange how I've come to cherish such things as phone calls. I went to family lunch and had a good time. It's nice to spend time with family. But, for some reason, I always go home feeling sort of empty.

So, I watched our wedding video. I haven't ever really sat
down and watched it until today. I figured that since I was lonely, it might help. I cried of course; remembering the day, how I felt walking down the aisle...and how I couldn't stand still the entire time because I was so nervous! It was definitely the best day of my life. I have never felt more certain of anything in my life. But, I remember that my brother in law had told Joe that he'd never have to say "good night" to me anymore over the phone, or drop me off at home, and go home alone. *sigh* 1 year and several months later, I'm praying for a 20 minute phone call.

Almost 3 years a
go, I went on my last first date. It was a night I'll probably never forget. He picked me up at my parents' house after he had finished something with Vocal Jazz. I'd known he might be in dress clothes, but I'd put on jeans anyway. When he rang the doorbell, my mom answered it and yelled down the hall that I should change clothes. Oh, mom. =) So, I hurriedly put on black dress pants. He was impressed that I could change so quickly. But, I've never really been high-maintenance, so I didn't pay much attention. Then, he put me in his late '90s model granny mobile (which is what I refer to it as) and off we went to dinner.

We went to downtown Fort Smith, to the Nickel and Dime Diner. It's basically a train car, turned into a restaurant. Most of the booths only seat 2 people, and it also has a small bar. Around the diner, is a small park with a carousel - very cute and quaint. But, it being October, it was too chilly to play. So, in we went for dinner. I was so nervous! I'm not sure why; we'd spent time together before, so why was this different? I honestly can't remember all we talked about. I do remember enjoying the conversation though. After dinner, we decided to go to Starbucks. On the way, there I remember talking about love, and marriage...he told me that he wanted to love his wife like Christ loves the Church. I remember thinki
ng that I would love to marry someone like that. =) Little did I know.... An amazing thing happened when we got out of the car to walk into Starbucks for coffee. He put out his hand for me to hold and, without even thinking about it for a second, I put my hand in his. It took me less than a second to notice how natural it felt to do this simple thing with him. As we walked through the parking lot, he seemed very protective - holding me back until a car passed. So cute. =)

Inside, we talked and laughed and flirted endlessly. =) After a while, we decided that we needed something else to do. There's never anything to do in Fort Smith. And, unlike any of the other guys I'd dated, he suggested we go back to my house. I was shocked. So, off we went. He stayed at our house for a little while and then we said good night - without a kiss. He didn't even seem like he expected it. Something new for me.


Little did I know that this was my last first date. I hadn't even wanted to start dating again. Not after the rough breakup I'd been through the previous summer. I had no idea that this cute, funny, crazy guy would steal my heart and become more than just a boyfriend. He became my best friend...my husband.

To think that this is only the beginning of our love story.... =)

9.06.2009

Divine Inspiration

So, I have decided that catching up on the last months' events exactly as they happened is not what is important here. What is important is that I share with you - whoever you are - my life and what I choose to do in those difficult moments.

Friday, I was supposed to leave to go visit my family 15 hours away from here. I'd been planning the visit since a few days after Joe left for BCT. So, this past week, I began getting my things ready. I cleaned the house, did load after load of laundry, cleaned out my car, bought a GPS, and finally packed. Thursday night, I came home after having spent the evening with my sister in law. I was doing some last minute packing when it happened. I got this overwhelming sense of anxiety. My heart began to race, I was nauseous...it seemed to come out of nowhere! So, in sort of a panic, I picked up my phone and called my mom. A minute later, I was in tears trying to explain why I felt so worried and anxious about coming to visit. Then, I spoke with my dad. After several minutes, I was convinced that I probably shouldn't go. But, I decided to go to bed and decide in the morning.

Every night before I go to sleep, I read my Bible for a few minutes. Never very long, but I feel the need to read God's Word before I try to sleep. So, because I packed the Bible I usually use, I grabbed one I used in high school and college. It's a student study Bible, so it has little parts used for explanation and life application. I opened it to Psalm 27, I believe. I read it...and I didn't really understand much of it..usually when I read, I get some sort of understanding or comfort. This time, I got nothing. So, I glanced down the page to one of those life application thingies. It began to describe how David wrote this particular Psalm and what it meant. I skimmed down a few lines to a quote from the Psalm, "Wait on the Lord." And then I knew. There was no way I could get in the car and drive 15 hours to see my friends and family. Not when God was obviously telling me to wait. So, I turned off the light and went to bed.

Still denying that God was telling me not to go, I tossed and turned all night. I had a few wacky dreams. I woke up at one point wondering what my husband would want me to do. Would he really want me to drive 1000 miles by myself? Was he worried about me? Would he want me to spend the money? Question after question popped into my head. After some time, I heard what my husband would say to me. "Baby, I don't want you to go. We really don't have the money to spend. I would worry about you driving by yourself." So, I got up at 3 a.m. as planned, went to the bathroom, walked back to the bedroom, turned off the alarm and went back to bed. Then I cried.

When I woke up around 8, I realized that this feeling didn't happen to me instantly. I knew for several days beforehand that I shouldn't go. Normally, when I go visit, I get all excited and happy about seeing my family and friends. That didn't happen this time. My mom said that she could hear that in my voice too. She also told me that she and Dad had been very worried about me driving that far. My mother in law even told me that she'd been concerned about me making a trip that long alone. So, it wasn't just me and it didn't just happen in an instant. God had been trying to tell me for days, days, but I didn't listen. So, when I had gotten as far as I did, He had no choice but to make me sick about going. I'm just thankful that I didn't actually get in the car before I realized God was telling me not to go. Only He knows what disaster I escaped from. I am totally ok with that though. =)

Anyway, with all that said, I went to my church this morning. And, as always, it was amazing. Our pastor spoke on serving others, and what happens when Christians serve others the way we're supposed to. He said that when we serve, we get to see miracles that we wouldn't be able to see otherwise. You see, when we serve others - for example, teaching children at church - we allow them to see God in our lives. They see how we respond to difficult times in our lives, they see our relationship with God. They see God through those that serve, if we serve with a loving heart - God's heart and love. And I think that is why I started this blog. Not so you can learn something about me, or who I am, or what being the wife of a Soldier is like. No. I started this so that you could see, and learn about, God through me and my situations! I just didn't realize it until this morning.

See, here's the thing. When Joe left, I honestly didn't know how I would make it through the day, let alone 2 and 1/2 months! But, I did. How? Well, for the first day, I had my good friends from small group to spend time with. We went shopping, saw a movie...and then we actually went to small group later that night. At that point, just being with people helped ease the loneliness. Then, I read a letter Joe had left for me. He told me that strength, true strength, comes from God. I knew this, but I had never experienced it. The next Sunday, our pastor continued a series on the Holy Spirit. The message was titled (and this is paraphrased because I can't remember!) "you are never alone." Hello! Was that NOT exactly what I needed to hear?! He also told us, that by walking in the Spirit (having a relationship with God and talking to Him daily), God gives us peace (true peace), hope, security, and strength.

How have I made it since my husband has been gone, you ask? God. He is made stronger through my weakness. He lifts me up when I'm down. He carries me when I can't do it any more. Why? Good question! No matter what I do, He loves me. I could screw up every single thing I do...and He would STILL love me. Why? Because that's who He is. I don't have all the answers, and I never will. Well, not until I actually meet Him in heaven anyway. =) And even then I might not know. That's just the beauty of it all. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous hand." So, my day may totally suck and I may want to just cry, but God will help me. He will be my strength. That's the only way I can make it through the day (and night). My prayer is that through this blog, I am able to help you - whoever you may be, wherever you may be. Alright, I'm sure this post is long enough now. =)

9.05.2009

We've got a lot of catching up to do! July 23, 2009

Since I have the time, I figured I'd get caught up as much as possible. =) Hope you don't mind!

"Today was so close to being a good day! I got up, went to the gym, went to work...and most of it went fine. Work was, well, work. Brian irritated me; he's so rude! He's closing tonight and when he came in, he asked me how it felt to have an empty/quiet house! Oh, I wanted to smack him!

"I got some groceries at WalMart today and actually met my budget! =D I was proud, but it was really weird just shopping for me. Then, I came home to the TON of dishes my wonderful husband left for me to do. ;-) He told me he wasn't going to do any dishes or laundry so that I'd have something to keep me busy! *rolls eyes*

"Anyway, tonight started sucking while I was watching Grey's Anatomy. I don't really know what happened, but I just wanted Joe to be here so badly. Then, my phone wouldn't let me text Joe's brother, Peter, back. I called him, but it just went downhill from there. I can't answer or make a phone call with it now. I was on facebook talking to Meagan and had her text my mom so that she wouldn't worry when I couldn't answer her phone calls. It was so crazy!!!!

"Jasper [our dog] has been driving me nuts too. He finally learned how to jump on the bed...and now he won't stop! It's really starting to bug me. On then off, on then off....ugh, that dog, I swear! Oh, he's been so hyper today! And it's probably worse since I'm upset. I guess I'm just cranky and hormonal. I also HATE sleeping alone. We've only been married a year and already I can't sleep well without him. What's with that?! For the last 21 years, I've slept alone...then in one year, I get so used to sleeping with him that I can't sleep without him. Ugh."

Getting you all caught up - July 22, 2009

Joe left for Basic (BCT) on July 21 - this is the day after!

"Today was really hard. I already miss Joe so much. I even got to talk to him on the phone today! He didn't get processes at MEPC (military processing center), so he's staying in a hotel tonight. I suppose it's just different than usual because I know that he's not going to be here for a while.

"I kept my promise...I'm still going to the gym. But, the lady who is always there told me that it was weird not seeing us together. I was like 'Really?! Thanks; that's EXACTLY what I needed to hear the DAY after he left!' Gr! So, obviously that made me cry...but at least I waited until I left.

"For the most part, I'm doing ok. I know that each day will get better. I'll still miss him, though. So, I'm trying to keep busy. I hung out with Anna [Joe's sister] tonight. It was good to hang out and talk. I went to small group last night, which really helped. I'm not used to going without Joe, so it was interesting...

"The house isn't quite the same without Joe. But, God is my strength for now. I know that I am not doing this, but it's God in me. I am not strong enough to do this. God gave me a scripture tonight that reminded me of that. Psalm 18:2, 'The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.' I am so thankful for my small group and my church. I don't know what I'd do without them! I'm counting the days until I see my love again...."

Just an introduction...

Alright, so I'm a little new at this whole blogging thing. We'll see how it goes.

I've started this to write about my experiences since my husband has joined the Army. I kept a journal for the first several weeks he was gone. So, I think I am going to post those in the blog before I catch you up on current events. =) Hopefully, by blogging about all that I've gone through, and will go through, someone will benefit from it...other than myself. I find writing (or typing in this case) to be very therapeutic. I have found in the past that I learn a lot about myself through writing.

Ok. That's all I have for you for now, but the next post will be what you should expect from now on. Enjoy!! =D