How far along: 30 weeks. Holy. Moly. Not much longer!

Weight gain/loss: Um...lots. =P

Body changes: I've found a few more stretch marks...a couple on my belly this time, which I'm not so happy about. Other than that I haven't noticed much. Oh, but I can't see my feet... See?

This is the view I have when I look down... All belly, no feet!

But the belly doesn't look quite so big from the side. Or am I wrong?

Gender: It's a GIRL!

Movement: LOTS. I feel her almost all the time. She still has what I call "quiet" times, but I feel her moving throughout the day now. She's most active at night and in the morning, though.

Sleep: I had a rough time sleeping a few nights ago...I was up every couple hours and would wake up every time I needed to turn over. Thankfully it was just the one night and things are normal now. I get up a couple times and I always wake up with a stiff back and hips, but it's not unbearable.

What I'm looking forward to: Getting her room finished, having a baby shower and getting everything we need for her! And this week, I'm {kind of} looking forward to the GD nutrition class. I have NO CLUE what I'm doing right now. I'm also looking forward to the L&D tour this week! Should be interesting, if nothing else. =)

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach is still #1. Next would have to be ice cream now that I'm not allowed to have all the sweets I'm craving.

Cravings: All things sweet...that I can't have. =( This whole gestational diabetes thing is for the birds! Though, I did find some sugar free dark chocolate at the shopette that's surprisingly good.

Symptoms: Back and hip pain... A little bit of heartburn, but not much since I started taking Zantac. I'm pretty sure I've got a bit of swelling going on too.

Best moment this week: Buying things for her room and working on getting it all ready for her!

Side note(s):

Thanks for your comments/prayers regarding my aunt's passing. I haven't talked to my uncle yet, but my mom is heading up there tomorrow and I'll get to Skype with him then. Please keep him in your prayers.

More thanks for your comments on my gestational diabetes {GD} diagnosis. I'm still kind of upset about it, but I think I'm starting to come to a point of acceptance. Plus, I only have to deal with this for about 10 more weeks... Can't be that bad, right?!

Oh, and be sure to check out the Amazon gift card giveaway over at Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life!


Highs and Lows

For the most part, Joe and I had a good weekend. We didn't do much, but sometimes I think that's the best. Saturday afternoon we went to see a movie {Underworld. Warning if you go see it: lots and lots of gore. More than usual for those movies.} and then I somehow talked him into going to Ross with me. Hehehe. =) He said that since we were on a date he had to, but we all know he could have easily said no. =) Anyway. My goal was to get some cheap frames for Charlotte's room, but you just can't help but look while you're there!!

Backing up a bit, I got these cute prints in the mail last week... Which is why I needed frames. =)

I was shocked at how quickly they got here! {I ordered them from an Etsy seller in Indonesia. I guess being in the Pacific helps.} And I fell in love with them... More than when I just saw them on Etsy!

We got really lucky at Ross and ended up with 4 frames and a figurine for her room - all for $40! I was {and still am} really excited to get all of it... So much so that I came home and put the prints in the frames. =P

Don't you just love them?! Minus the stickers that sill need to be taken off, of course. I can't wait for Joe to hang them up!!! ;-)

Apparently I was feeling rather nest-y today... I was busy all morning with house cleaning. Then this afternoon I felt the sudden need to rearrange some things in the almost-nursery. {Almost because there are still things that need to be moved from that room. Soon!}

First, I made a little book holder/organizer out of a cereal box to hold some kids' books I found in the closet this weekend.

Cut the cereal box, pick out some scrapbook paper, get out the modge podge and voila! Something to hold your books/magazines. =) And yeah, I totally got the idea from Pinterest...

While I was in there working on her room, I decided it'd be a good time to dust. So I dusted the entire wardrobe before putting all the fun nicknacks on it. Nesting is serious business!!

This is the figurine we found at Ross!! It was $11 and they took a little bit off the price since it's a bit damaged. I love it and couldn't leave the store without it. Seriously, I had to talk Joe into letting me get it because it's damaged. I'm going to try to cover that little white spot with some acrylic paint... I'm hopeful. =)

This is the finished product of the wardrobe. Ok, mostly finished. I need/want to order another print to put in that large frame and it'll really be done. I'm so excited to be getting so much done in her room. I'm starting to get anxious about her arrival... I really want to have everything put together soon!

Amid all of the excitement surrounding this little one's arrival {plus our date}, we got a bit of sad news this weekend. My mom called while we were in church on Sunday to let me know that my aunt passed away.

My aunt and uncle {far right} at our wedding. 

It's a hard, very sad thing... She was only 55 and while she'd been having health problems for a while, I feel confident saying no one saw this coming. She passed away with my uncle holding her hand and all her children {plus one grandchild} standing just outside the room. My uncle is {according to my mom} very numb right now, which I can imagine is a very normal reaction. I was pretty upset after I got word, but I am taking comfort in the fact that she's Home with Jesus and family that went before her and she's feeling no pain.

While I wish I could be there, I think it's probably a good thing for me that I can't be. I know it would be hard to see my - usually very happy and energetic - uncle so sad. My mom is going up on Wednesday, I believe, and I'm hoping that he'll feel up to talking on Skype. Anyway. Just please keep my family in your prayers this week. As upsetting as it is for me, I can't imagine how my uncle and cousins are feeling.


The Final Verdict

This morning, after kind of a rough start, I headed to the lab to do the dreaded 3 hour glucose test. I was prepared for a long wait and I thought I was prepared for all the poking a blood drawing...but I really wasn't.

If you don't know, they draw your blood not 3, but 4 times for this lovely little test. The first one {prior to drinking the sugary orange drink} wasn't so bad. I mean, it hurt, but what else do you expect from someone sticking a needle in your arm, right?

20ish minutes later, I got to have a nice big cup full of that orange stuff. It was gross. Much harder to get down than the last time. And then the nausea hit. Oh, it was bad. It was very similar to morning sickness. It came in waves and just wouldn't stop. Then it was time for my 2nd blood draw of the day. This didn't go well. She tried one spot in my arm and it didn't work. Since I was already nauseous, this just sent me over the edge. Fortunately, they had ice packs and she handed me one and drew from my hand. After she was done, she had me lay down in the back. It was oh-so heavenly! I only got up because another preggo doing the 3 hour test wasn't feeling well and needed to lie down. But, that seemed to make all the difference because I was fine for the rest!

I did learn one thing while I was there today, though, and I will share it with you. The difference between a good phlebotomist and a bad phlebotomist:

The good...

and the bad.

Since I was there all day I had the pleasure of having 2 different people drawing my blood. The first lady I had sucked. You know, the one who had to draw from my hand. Yeah, she also blew 2 of my veins which no one has ever had a problem with before {bottom picture}. Oh, and it hurt when she did it. The second one? I hardly even felt it. {top picture} Not that there is anything I can do about who I had, but really? Ow.

Afterward, Joe picked me up and we went home to have lunch. At this point, I was practically ravenous. =P There's something about not eating for over 12 hours that really just makes you tired, too. I spent the rest of the afternoon plopped on the couch. 

And then the phone rang, showing a Hawaii number... I didn't believe her the first time she said it... 

"The test shows you have gestational diabetes."

Seriously, I had to have her repeat it which I kinda think sunk the knife in a bit deeper. She explained that she was putting in for me to see a "specialist" to teach me about diabetes and diet and that I won't be able to go back to the same OB office. I have to have all my OB appointments at Tripler from now on. 

All of it just hit me really hard. It took all of 2 seconds after hanging up for the tears to start. And of course, the one time that I actually want/need to talk to Joe while he's at work, he was too busy to answer. I did get a call {and some texts} in to my bestie, which definitely helped. If nothing else, she distracted me which is necessary sometimes. 

It's just so frustrating. First there's the "why me?" questions. Why me? Why can all these other women eat everything they want, hardly gain weight and still not get GD? And then there's the blame game. What did I do wrong? When did this start? How could I have avoided it? Then there's my current favorite: As if I didn't have enough to deal with already. My body sucks.

The last one is really the hardest for me to deal with. I mean, really, was having asthma and needing medication while pregnant just not enough?! I've been sick and on medication practically all my life. This is the one time in my life that I just wanted to be healthy and not need anything...and I can't even do that! Pregnancy is the one time in a child's life that you can really take care of your baby and {for the most part} not worry about what you're doing wrong. Yet here I am every day...my body failing her. Asthma - not enough oxygen. GD - too much sugar, not enough insulin. It just sucks. And of course I wonder how all of this is affecting her and will continue to affect her as she gets older.

I know that diabetes is manageable - my mom and MIL both have it. I know it can be lived with and controlled. I know these things. I just didn't want to have to live with something else, manage another disease. I also know that it'll likely go away as soon as she arrives, but my changes of having GD again are increased as are my chances of getting Type 2 when I'm older...and I already have that chance because of family history. Oh, and bonus for me, it increases my chances of getting glaucoma which {again} is already in my family history. 

Then, just for fun, let's add on the fact that my aunt's diabetes made her kidneys fail and she's currently in the hospital with a life expectancy of a couple weeks at best. Now, I'm not saying that this is going to happen to me {at least not anytime soon}, but it definitely doesn't help things. 

I'm just very disappointed and upset. I've had a couple good cries about it, but I expect a couple more in the days to come. I just need some time to get used to the idea. Also, I have no freakin' clue what I'm supposed to eat now and I'm almost afraid to eat anything because I just don't know....and I have no idea when I'll be able to meet with that "specialist." 

So, please say some prayers for us. And if you have any GD diet tips/suggestions, please share them.

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Twenty Nine

How far along: 29 weeks, 11 to go! Holy. Crap. Must have more Joe and Sarah time... I know these last weeks are going to fly by!

Weight gain/loss: About 30 pounds so far. I know everyone gains a different amount, but that number is getting too high for my liking!!

Body changes: Not too much change lately... I'm sure my belly has gotten bigger, but that's about it. I can't see my feet anymore!!! 

Gender: It's a GIRL!

Movement: Alllll the time! Okay, I don't feel her every second of every day, but it's pretty darn close. She's most active in the morning and at night. Which translates to: she wakes me up sometimes and then keeps me awake at night. Silly girl. She's been down low again lately and using my bladder as a punching bag. Ugh.

Sleep: It's not so bad, especially once I get to sleep. I still get up once or twice at night, but I have officially learned how to fall asleep quickly after getting up!! I'm hoping this will help me in a few months. ;-)

What I'm looking forward to: Getting the prints I ordered for her room, finishing the quilt I'm working on, and having a baby shower!! =)

What I miss: I think I miss sleeping on my stomach more than anything. Despite the preggo pillow, I still wake up with my hips and lower back stiff. It'd be so much easier if I could just sleep the way I want to! I also miss being able to see my feet. I'm much more klutzy {which I didn't know was possible!} now that I can't see them.

Cravings: Still just the sweet stuff. I haven't had a super specific craving in a while.

Symptoms: Back pain, hip pain, feet pain {my arches have started hurting when I stand/walk for too long}... The midwife gave me Zantac for heartburn last week and I'm happy to report that it's working!!! No more heartburn for me! =D As far as I'm concerned, it's a miracle drug. Lol!

Best moment this week: Definitely our picnic at the beach. =) We got to talk a lot about us and Charlotte, what we're most looking forward to, etc. Joe keeps telling me he just wants to hold her and that he can't wait until she gets here. It's really, really sweet and melts my heart. {Side note: I've told him a lot recently that I would gladly let him grow her for a little while, if only to relieve my back pain! Haha! =)}


11 Facts and Questions

I actually got tagged by two people to do this!! First was Allie and then Chantal tagged me. If I were really going to be fair, I'd answer both sets of questions. But I really don't feel like doing that. Instead, I'm just going to answer Chantal's questions... I mean, she was the last one to tag me! ;-) So, here goes nothin'.

The Rules

1. You must post the rules. (and link up who tagged you)
2. Post eleven fun facts about yourself on the blog post.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you've tagged.
4. Tag however many people you want
5. Let them know you've tagged them!

The Facts

1. I loathe nasty anonymous commenters. If you're going to say something rude and unfounded, at least have the guts to put your name with it. *eye roll* Cowards. {I may or may not have had this happen this weekend. Which is why no one will be able to anonymously comment here ever again.}

2. I'm pretty crafty, but none of them ever turn out perfectly. I say this gives things character.

3. I love reading.

4. Unless I'm reading in bed, I read with the TV on. The volume is turned down, but I actually kind of enjoy the background noise. I realize this is weird and I'm ok with it. =P

5. I don't go to the beach nearly as often as I should for someone who lives in Hawaii.

6. I actually don't love living in Hawaii. The thousands of miles between me and family/friends, high prices, and lack of my favorite stores/restaurants are the main reasons for this.

7. I could probably eat my weight in chocolate.

8. Though my eyesight is definitely bad enough for it, and I'm a good candidate, I am not interested in getting Lasik. *shudder*

9. I think about getting a playmate for Jasper frequently. Then I remember the house training and the fact that I'm about to have a baby and forget about it.

10. I continually watch reruns of Grey's Anatomy {thanks, Lifetime!} even though I've seen every. single. episode.

11. I kind of, sort of, in a way, like Star Trek... <--- Totally the husband's fault.

The Questions

1. If you could go back to any period of your life (elementary school, college, that summer when you were 16, etc.), what would it be and why?

Oh, definitely college! Maybe like sophomore-senior year of college. Not all of the times had in college were great, but overall, I loved it. I'd definitely make some different decisions, but I loved being able to meet different people in all my classes and {nerd moment} I loved my history classes. Most importantly, I'd get to meet and date Joe all over again. Hehe. =)

2. Favorite childhood song or band?

Childhood? Hmmm. I grew up listening to country and Garth Brooks was my absolute favorite. Does that count?

3. Would you rather wear hats or headbands?

Headbands. Hats drive me crazy. Unless it's one of those big, floppy beach hats. =P

4. If you had to leave the US forever, where would you live?

Forever? Hmmm. Maybe England. I've always wanted to go there and they have such a rich, long history... Yeah, I could enjoy myself there. Plus, I already speak the language! Ha!

5. Favorite TV show right now?

Well, you already know Grey's is my favorite... Truthfully, I have a lot of favorite TV shows. But Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Private Practice and Once Upon a Time are my "can't miss" shows currently. =)

6. What item can you not leave the house without?

My phone. Definitely my phone. I'd be completely lost without it. Sad, but true.

7. Do you know how to shoot a gun?

Yep! I've been shooting guns since I was a kid. 

8. Would you rather be famous and die young or be unknown and live until you're old?

I don't care anything about being famous. I'd rather live to be 100 and be a nobody. =)

9. Why do you blog?

The "why" has changed over the last 2 years {can't believe it's been that long!}, but mostly I blog for myself. It's a really, really good outlet for me, I love writing/journaling, and I love getting to know new friends this way. It's how I met most of the people I know in Hawaii. =)

10. What's for dinner?

Not 100% sure right now, but it's looking like we'll have hamburgers and rotel dip for dinner. Totally not healthy, but Joe requested it. 

11. Dog or cat person?

DOG. Definitely a dog person. Cats' holier-than-thou attitudes irritate me. =P Although I will admit that they are cute! Oddly enough, I found out a couple weeks ago that I'm more allergic to dogs than cats, but I react more {think sneezing and wheezing} to cats. I really don't get it... And I'm definitely not getting rid of Jasper!

New Questions

1. What movie could you watch over and over again and never get tired of?
2. If someone gave you a one week vacation to anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
3. Favorite food/recipe?
4. What's your favorite guilty pleasure TV show?
5. Harry Potter or Twilight and why? {And yes, you have to choose! =P}
6. What kind of person do you want to be when you "grow up?"
7. Something your mom said repeatedly throughout your childhood.
8. Name one thing you've done you thought you'd never, ever do.
9. What room in your house is your favorite?
10. If you could be anything, have any job, what would it be?
11. What's your favorite thing about blogging?



Taking a Breath

Before I get to today's actual post I wanted to take a minute and say thank you for all of your sweet comments on my last {and slightly depressing} post. Last week was kinda rough for me, not just because of the whole glucose test thing. All of your comments {some which I have yet to respond to} helped remind me of a few things. 1) It's not the end of the world, even if I'm diagnosed with GD. 2) All that really matters is that Charlotte is {and stays} healthy. 3) I can't control this - or anything else - and worrying about it doesn't do me very much good. Anyway. Thank you. =)

Joe and I have been trying lately to take one night just for ourselves. Usually we go to dinner and see a movie. We're kinda boring like that. =P Plus, I have a hard time thinking of things we can do that don't involve a lot of time and effort. Well, after the week we had, I decided that I wanted more than just a date night. I wanted a whole day, dang it. And we needed it too. So on our date day, we had a picnic at the beach!

During our lovely little picnic, we enjoyed this view:

Can you see the little sails?! Love.

The water was gorgeous, the breeze was cool, and the sun was warm. I was so happy we picked a nice day to go on a picnic! The weather has been really gross lately. There were a couple of voggy, hot and sticky days last week, so it was nice to see the sun and the return of the trade winds. {Seriously, I never thought I'd miss a breeze so much.}

Our picnic wasn't a traditional one... We stopped to pick up some McD's to take with us. =P We're running low on groceries and my wonderful husband loathes the commissary, so we made do. 

As you can see, he wasn't disappointed in our predicament at all. ;-) I will admit, though, that it was kinda weird bringing McD's to the beach. I mean, you just don't think of fast food when you think "picnic at the beach," right? Anyway. After our little lunch, we brought out the books and read for a while. Oh yes, we're those people

It doesn't really get better than that. It's incredibly peaceful to be at the beach reading, listening to the waves crashing. It gave us a chance to really relax and enjoy each other's company. Joe was reading a book I got him about being a first-time dad, so he kept asking me questions. It was really good just to have some time to talk. I mean, we see each other every day and we talk about things, but we don't always talk. You know? Some chill time at the beach was exactly what we needed.

I know these pictures make it seem like the beach was empty, but it wasn't. Thankfully the other beach-goers were pretty chill. I think it helps that this beach is kind of hidden and isn't frequented by thousands of tourists. {Reason #1 I'm not a fan of Waikiki.} One of the other beach-goers brought their dogs. At first I thought they were puppies, but then they ran up the beach to us.

Aren't they cute?! I think they were all Jack Russells. Full of energy! And they loved the water. My dog, however, is afraid of the stinkin' water...which is why we don't usually take him to the beach. Anyway, these guys were super cute!! I almost wanted to take one home with me. And then I remembered I have a baby on the way. =P Speaking of...

I had Joe take a shot of me at the beach. Why not?! And holy moly is my belly out there! After we read a while, we walked along the beach. We had considered getting in the water but 1) the water was freezing! and 2) there were some decent sized waves happening. 

I don't know how long we spent there, but like I said before, it was definitely needed. It's funny how you can see a person every day throughout the week and still not really connect until you have some quiet, down time together.

To round off our picnic, we stopped for some shave ice at Matsumoto's on the the way home. We had to wait in line for a while, but whatevs. Matsumoto's is totally worth it! Clearly it wasn't our healthiest day of eating, but it was what our hearts and minds needed. I think that's more important sometimes. =) We've decided that we need to do this kind of thing more often - get out of the house and just relax. 

What do y'all do to recover from the past week or to connect with your hubby?

Hope you had a great weekend!


Feelin' Like a Failure...

So yesterday was the glucose test... It came back 9 points high, so now they want me to do the lovely 3 hour test. Yesterday I was upset about it, but several people reminded me that sometimes that just happens and it's very possible that the 3 hour will come back normal. So I rallied and felt better about it today. Until I went to my OB appointment, that is.

Apparently, I've gained 12 freakin' pounds since my last appointment. Twelve. I didn't really think about it until I saw the midwife's face. Because I thought for sure it'd been a mistake or that..well, I'm really not sure. But the last time I weighed myself I was, in fact, 12 pounds lighter.


So then she asks me about my eating and exercise habits. I'm nowhere close to being a "health nut" and I don't work out every day. I also don't eat crap all the time either. Sure, I don't make super healthy meals all the time but I also don't see them as being totally unhealthy either. I do have issues with the sweet stuff, though... And I'm thinking that's where my problem might be.

Anyway... She seemed pretty concerned. I mentioned that it might have something to do with the fact that we were on the mainland for 3 weeks and eating habits are never great when traveling. {I'll even admit to you right now that I ate Chick fil A at least 5 times while we were there.} And do you really think I did any sort of exercising while I was gone? No. We sort of left it at that, but she said that if I gain too much before my next appointment she's going to have me see a nutritionist. And that it could be possible that I have "underlying diabetes issues." CRAP.

So now I basically feel like a failure. I mean, yeah, I did eat a lot while we were gone...but no more than I would have if I wasn't pregnant. I know that the weight will most likely come off once she gets here, but I don't want to be unhealthy either. I really really don't. And I'm pretty sure gaining 12 pounds in one month is not healthy, even if I gained a normal pregnancy amount and some holiday weight.

I just don't know what to do. I know that beating myself up about it isn't really going to help, but I'm upset about it and well... I don't know how to change that. Like I said, I don't sit around the house all day and eat crap. I usually snack on fruit or yogurt. I have decently portioned lunches and I make mostly healthy dinners. We eat out maybe twice a week... I guess the only thing that I can really work on is the exercising. I just don't know what I'm going to do because it's not like I'm going to lose weight - nor do I really want to, for baby's sake. 

So any idea how I keep from gaining much in the next 4 weeks?


Twenty Eight

How far along: 28 weeks - only 12 left! I know I've been saying it for a while, but I can hardly believe I'm this far along already!

Weight gain/loss: A lot. =P Let's just leave it at that.

Body changes: Not so much lately...other than the growing belly, of course. =)

Gender: It's a girl!

Movement: Lots of it on and off throughout the day. She's getting bigger and running out of room, so I feel her a lot more now which I'm totally fine with. =) She's not super active, but she does have her moments.

Sleep: It's been okay for the most part since we got back from the mainland. I still get up a couple times a night, but I'm used to that now. What I'm not used to is being met with heartburn when I get up at night. Grrr.

What I'm looking forward to: Hearing her heartbeat at the doctor tomorrow, finishing a quilt I'm working on for her and getting her room ready!

What I miss: Not having heartburn all the time and sleeping on my stomach.

Cravings: Still just craving sweet stuff. I rarely have specific cravings.

Symptoms: HEARTBURN. It's absolutely awful. For the past 3 days, I've been eating Tums like they're candy. We will be addressing this at my appointment tomorrow. =) Then there's the hip and back pain which is becoming more common, but it doesn't happen all the time. Oh, and swelling... My closed-toed shoes {which I rarely wear anyway} are getting tight and I'm almost to the point where my rings won't come off.

Best moment this week: Setting her crib up, rearranging the room and ordering prints to hang up!

And because I can...

Worst moment this week: 

1) Finding out my aunt isn't expected to live much longer. Please keep her, my uncle, cousins and the rest of our family in your prayers...

2)"Failing" the glucose test. =( I really wanted to cry. I'm only 9 points over, but they're making me do the 3 hour test. I am so upset about this... I was kind of worried about it, but told myself that I'm fine and it would come back normal. So wrong. And I'm curious if I really should fast before the test. The nurse I spoke with before and after today's test said that I should, but I'm hearing from others that I should eat toast and peanut butter beforehand. Thoughts? Suggestions?