What Would I Say...

to a younger me? Whew, I would say a lot.

I've seen a lot of these posts lately, and I just cannot help myself. I know I'm *only* 24, but a lot has happened since I "met" the real world. So, I'll start with my 17 year old self and end with my 20 year old self.

Dear me at 17,

Happy belated 17th birthday! =) I don't know about you, but birthdays just seem to get less and less fun! I have some advice for you, and hope you'll listen. I know all too well how you don't like to take advice from people. You like to think that you're strong and can handle anything. Well, you are strong, but you have no idea the things that God is going to take you to and bring you through. Get prepared, girl!

Enjoy your senior year. It'll go by so much faster than you think. I know you're dying to get out of your small-town school and out into the real world. One day you really will look back and think "High school was so easy!" I swear.

Enjoy being drum major and going to all those football games. Scream to the top of your lungs for our crappy football team. =) Lose your voice even though Ms. Henson will not be happy with you. {She was my HS choir director.}

Procrastinate like crazy in Coach Zuk's AP History class and don't feel bad about it. I think he enjoyed making fun of us - I mean, you - for being so lazy.

Spend lots and lots of time with Anna. Don't let stupid things like duets, boys and graduating get in the way of your friendship. I promise you, you will regret it later. You'll know what I mean soon enough.

Don't worry about not dating or having a boyfriend. Have fun flirting and hanging out with the boys you think are cute now. ;-) Your standards will definitely raise in college.

Don't worry about getting into the only college you apply to. You're smart. You'll get the best scholarship in your class.

Enjoy your last few months of high school. Laugh, be crazy, flirt, be loud, skip class, enjoy being Office Aide to Carolyn, be proud of yourself for accomplishing so much. I know that Mom and Dad pretty much expected all of that from you. But, you need to be proud of yourself. =)  Be proud of the girl you are. You stayed away from parties, drugs, sex and alcohol even though 90% of your class was out partying every weekend. You stayed close to God, family and friends. Stop thinking what a loser and band nerd you are. You'll look back and cherish all the memories from band trips, choir trips, academic meets and quiz bowl.

You can trust me. I'm you, after all.

Don't be afraid to "put yourself out there" in college. It seems scary at first, but you'll love it. You'll come out of your shy shell and become someone you'd always hoped you'd be: fun, loud, brave enough to sing in front of people, and brave enough to go on a blind date...or two. =)

College will test you, but it will be so much fun. You'll learn a lot - and not just in class.

Be who you've always been. Trust God. Listen to your heart. Deep down, you know what's right.

I've been there,

Yourself at 24


Dear me at 20,

I know exactly what you're going through right now. You had a pretty crappy birthday, and the guy you thought you were going to marry crushed your dreams and broke your heart. Life pretty much sucks right now.

You may not know it yet, but this "experience" will bring you so much closer to God and friends who you thought weren't that good. You'll learn that - even though it doesn't feel like it - God has great plans for you. Better plans than you can imagine. (Honestly, I'm still learning that.) He's there for you. He's right beside you. I know you feel weak and that you hate getting out of bed in the morning knowing that "he" isn't there for you.

Try not to take out all your anger on "him." You knew this was coming - don't tell me you didn't. I know. It still hurts, but you did know. You fought with him constantly and he didn't treat you like you deserve to be treated. You gave something to him that you will never get back. That is something you will always regret, but you have to forgive yourself. God already has.

When you go back to UAFS for school this fall, go to the BCM. Do it. I know you don't want to. You don't want to be forced to be happy and meet strange people. But, I promise you, this will be the best thing you ever do. You'll meet a girl who will be one of your closest friends. You'll make even more friends who love God and support you. You'll sing with the band. You'll praise God like you've never praised Him before. It will be amazing. You'll look forward to every Tuesday night that you get to spend worshiping God and learning.

Don't be too afraid to open up to a new guy. =) You've known this cute guy since your freshman year, but you've never officially met him. You saw him in Breedlove while you were waiting for choir. You thought he was cute. You saw him in the orchestra that time you went to First Baptist Church with Mom. Mom said you should say 'hi' to him, but you didn't because you thought he wouldn't recognize you.

This guy is the sweetest, most caring, forgiving... *swoon* Do not - I repeat - DO NOT let this one go. I know he's got some quirks you don't think you can live with, but I promise you that you can. I know it's hard to trust another guy after what "he" did to you, but you can trust this one. He'll understand all you've been through and will be so incredibly patient with you. He'll ask you if he can kiss you. He will take you to the doctor when you're having asthma problems and no one else can take you. He'll take care of you after you've ruined a date by getting nauseous, going home and puking your guts up. He'll make you laugh like you've never laughed before. His kisses will make your heart skip a beat...or two. =) Oh, and Dad will tell you - after the first time he met him - that this will be the guy you marry. BELIEVE HIM. 

Enjoy the next two years of college. They were so awesome!! Make a ton of friends. But please, don't procrastinate on that big paper for Dr. McCoy. That wasn't the smartest thing I ever did. =) Take all of Mr. Higgins' classes that you can. Go to all of "new guy's" choir concerts. Make friends with his friends. You won't regret it. In fact, you stay in touch with them more than the friends you made in the history dept. Feel free to skip class. I always enjoyed that. I know you will too. Don't be too mad at "new guy" for scoring better than you on tests. It's just part of who he is.

By the way, you're going to get engaged soon. I'm not telling you who, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Instead of rolling your eyes and saying "I guess so" {I know you're just trying to be cute and funny}, just tell the poor guy YES! He'll appreciate it so much more. =)

The semester of your internship is going to be rough, but rewarding. You'll enjoy some of the kids you teach, others you'll...hate. Take advantage of everything your mentor teacher has to offer. Everything. Believe it or not, you'll be working in a restaurant too. You'll enjoy it - for the most part. Take in everything you can. Life is going to change fast. You're going to get married. =)

I won't give you all the details - that would spoil everything! It's been a wild ride, and you'll surprise yourself a lot along the way. Don't forget to rely on God. He'll get you through the tough times. You know that already. Believe me when I say that you will never, in a million years, believe where you'll be in 4 years. God has thrown some serious stuff your way. You're living farther away from home than you ever expected. You have the man you never knew you always wanted. =) It's just not perfect. Take things slow, enjoy the moments so that I can look back and smile.

Get ready for a wild ride, girl!! You'll enjoy it [for the most part].

Can't wait to see what happens next,

Yourself at 24

This post was way longer than I thought it would be. Oops. =) Hope you enjoyed it!