The Final Verdict

This morning, after kind of a rough start, I headed to the lab to do the dreaded 3 hour glucose test. I was prepared for a long wait and I thought I was prepared for all the poking a blood drawing...but I really wasn't.

If you don't know, they draw your blood not 3, but 4 times for this lovely little test. The first one {prior to drinking the sugary orange drink} wasn't so bad. I mean, it hurt, but what else do you expect from someone sticking a needle in your arm, right?

20ish minutes later, I got to have a nice big cup full of that orange stuff. It was gross. Much harder to get down than the last time. And then the nausea hit. Oh, it was bad. It was very similar to morning sickness. It came in waves and just wouldn't stop. Then it was time for my 2nd blood draw of the day. This didn't go well. She tried one spot in my arm and it didn't work. Since I was already nauseous, this just sent me over the edge. Fortunately, they had ice packs and she handed me one and drew from my hand. After she was done, she had me lay down in the back. It was oh-so heavenly! I only got up because another preggo doing the 3 hour test wasn't feeling well and needed to lie down. But, that seemed to make all the difference because I was fine for the rest!

I did learn one thing while I was there today, though, and I will share it with you. The difference between a good phlebotomist and a bad phlebotomist:

The good...

and the bad.

Since I was there all day I had the pleasure of having 2 different people drawing my blood. The first lady I had sucked. You know, the one who had to draw from my hand. Yeah, she also blew 2 of my veins which no one has ever had a problem with before {bottom picture}. Oh, and it hurt when she did it. The second one? I hardly even felt it. {top picture} Not that there is anything I can do about who I had, but really? Ow.

Afterward, Joe picked me up and we went home to have lunch. At this point, I was practically ravenous. =P There's something about not eating for over 12 hours that really just makes you tired, too. I spent the rest of the afternoon plopped on the couch. 

And then the phone rang, showing a Hawaii number... I didn't believe her the first time she said it... 

"The test shows you have gestational diabetes."

Seriously, I had to have her repeat it which I kinda think sunk the knife in a bit deeper. She explained that she was putting in for me to see a "specialist" to teach me about diabetes and diet and that I won't be able to go back to the same OB office. I have to have all my OB appointments at Tripler from now on. 

All of it just hit me really hard. It took all of 2 seconds after hanging up for the tears to start. And of course, the one time that I actually want/need to talk to Joe while he's at work, he was too busy to answer. I did get a call {and some texts} in to my bestie, which definitely helped. If nothing else, she distracted me which is necessary sometimes. 

It's just so frustrating. First there's the "why me?" questions. Why me? Why can all these other women eat everything they want, hardly gain weight and still not get GD? And then there's the blame game. What did I do wrong? When did this start? How could I have avoided it? Then there's my current favorite: As if I didn't have enough to deal with already. My body sucks.

The last one is really the hardest for me to deal with. I mean, really, was having asthma and needing medication while pregnant just not enough?! I've been sick and on medication practically all my life. This is the one time in my life that I just wanted to be healthy and not need anything...and I can't even do that! Pregnancy is the one time in a child's life that you can really take care of your baby and {for the most part} not worry about what you're doing wrong. Yet here I am every day...my body failing her. Asthma - not enough oxygen. GD - too much sugar, not enough insulin. It just sucks. And of course I wonder how all of this is affecting her and will continue to affect her as she gets older.

I know that diabetes is manageable - my mom and MIL both have it. I know it can be lived with and controlled. I know these things. I just didn't want to have to live with something else, manage another disease. I also know that it'll likely go away as soon as she arrives, but my changes of having GD again are increased as are my chances of getting Type 2 when I'm older...and I already have that chance because of family history. Oh, and bonus for me, it increases my chances of getting glaucoma which {again} is already in my family history. 

Then, just for fun, let's add on the fact that my aunt's diabetes made her kidneys fail and she's currently in the hospital with a life expectancy of a couple weeks at best. Now, I'm not saying that this is going to happen to me {at least not anytime soon}, but it definitely doesn't help things. 

I'm just very disappointed and upset. I've had a couple good cries about it, but I expect a couple more in the days to come. I just need some time to get used to the idea. Also, I have no freakin' clue what I'm supposed to eat now and I'm almost afraid to eat anything because I just don't know....and I have no idea when I'll be able to meet with that "specialist." 

So, please say some prayers for us. And if you have any GD diet tips/suggestions, please share them.

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