Similar to the drama that happened to me last week (that I was also told I started...funny how that works), a good friend of mine had relatively the same thing happen to her today. I felt so bad for her. Here she was at church, confiding in a friend. Someone she trusted with very personal information. Although this friend originally had good intentions in asking her why she wasn't coming to this church function or that get together, it soon turned into a personal attack. My friend confided in this person in an attempt to explain why she felt this way about going to church functions - how her past affects her present. I think we can all relate to this. We've all had things happen to us in the past that make us not want to trust people. This woman she was confiding in basically told her (and this is me paraphrasing here) that it was all just a bunch of excuses. She told my friend that she needed to get over her past because - wait for it - someone else has it worse!!!!
What on earth?! My friend had some pretty shady stuff happen to her that caused her to go into a downward spiral. While we weren't close when all of it happened, I know that it affected her in a very BIG way. For someone to completely dismiss this is unbelievable to me! Considering what happened to her, it's a wonder she even attends church still. Seriously.
While I'm sure this woman who dismissed her feelings initially had good intentions, I can't help but wonder why she'd say these things. I really don't understand why people feel it's necessary to tell others who are hurting, dealing with things or simply just frustrated, that other people have it worse. What good is it doing? I think most - if not all - of us realize that there are people in this world going through worse situations. And we can never really understand those situations because we aren't in them. But, we can be sympathetic. We can be hurt for them. And when we have the chance to be happy for others because their situation is better than ours, we should!
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Another thing kind of bothered me today. As some of you know, I tend to watch the Today Show...a lot. (Sorry, JG! ;-)) Well, they had a segment today that evaluated the necessity of monogamous relationships, specifically marriages. Some people believe that we - as humans - are not naturally monogamous. Some believe that we aren't meant to be "tied down" to one person for the rest of our lives. Their reasoning - I'm assuming - is the incapability of so many people to stay in a monogamous relationship for a long period of time. Cheating, pornography, etc.
Here's my reasoning.
We actually ARE naturally monogamous. {The woman in the segment did say that we naturally cling to one person. Go figure. She was actually fairly objective.} God created us to be with only one person. Somehow, I think that if God thought Adam needed more than one help-mate He would have created more. I do. God's a smart guy. Obviously, there were polygamous relationships in the Old Testament. I don't know their reasoning for it. I don't claim to be a Bible scholar. I, personally, believe that God allowed them to be polygamous. In the same way, God allows people to sin - to cheat. That doesn't mean He likes it! He gave us free will - the ability to choose. If we choose wrong, that's on us.
The simple fact is that people aren't perfect. We make mistakes. As the lady on the show said, most people marry because that person makes them happy. Obviously, that should be a part of why you marry someone. It's bigger than that though. Before you actually get married, you should really talk with that other person. Find out their beliefs. Find out everything you possibly can about each other. I recommend pre-marital counseling. It was the best thing we could have done for our soon-to-be-marriage. The counselor we saw (who was a Christian counselor on staff at the church we attended) asked us things that we NEVER would have come up with on our own. It was amazing. So many times, couples don't talk about their expectations, their beliefs, whether they want kids, how they want to raise kids, where they want to live, how they expect their spouse to act, etc. This, along with the imperfections of people, the cheating, the lying, the hiding things, is what makes marriage difficult.
Too often, people just give up. They decide it isn't worth fighting for. They decide he/she doesn't deserve forgiveness for an affair. They decide they can't live with his/her annoying habits. I could go on forever here. The truth is, marriage is hard. You have to make a conscious decision every day to keep trying. To love your spouse unconditionally. I think people love conditionally these days, and that isn't how it's supposed to be. God also needs to be in the middle of a marriage. I think that's the number 1 cause of failed marriages.
I'm just saddened by this view on marriage - that it isn't worth it. It IS! You just have to being willing to be selfless...which is asking a whole lot more these days.
This is not the post that I had planned for today, but I really wanted to share these things with you. Hope you don't mind. =)
Hope y'all are having a great week!
