Because We Matter

You may remember that, in late July/early August, I made a decision to swap OBs. Even before that, I had decided to take the "civilian" healthcare route. I'd had the military experience once, and while it was good for the most part, I wanted something different this time. After today, I have no doubt that I made the best decision in choosing to see a doctor off post...and then switching doctors halfway through my pregnancy.

Truthfully, my pregnancy in Hawaii was fine (other than the GD, of course). I was taken care of. Medically, anyway. I was seen by at least half a dozen doctors, none of whom I remember. I was mostly prepared for that, because that's just part of it, right? I had ultrasounds, blood work, urine samples, check-ups... All of it. But the whole time - especially once I was being seen at Tripler - I felt like a number. In fact, when you check in to the OB clinic at Tripler, you have to take a number. No kidding. It's all very rushed. Very military. Hurry up and wait. Do this. Do that. See ya next time. Sure, most of the doctors I saw were friendly. But now I wonder how much they truly cared about me.

At my first appointment off post (with the first doctor), I felt at ease. I had to wait a while, but that's normal with any doctor. The staff was kind. My doctor was very nice and friendly. Obviously busy, but friendly. I really never had any issues with her, and enjoyed seeing her. It was the hospital policies I was really concerned about.

Everything changed when I saw this new doctor, Dr. P, we'll call her. At my first visit with her, she asked me questions. She encouraged me to ask questions about her, about her practice. She floored me when she said that she felt it was her place to be my advocate - to help me have the kind of birth *I* wanted. Yeah, she said that. No agenda. No "my way, or the highway."

And then there was today. The dreaded glucose test. Oh, how I hate that thing!! The sickeningly sweet drink, the fasting, the waiting, the icky feeling....it's all awful. And yet....today it wasn't all that terrible. 

The drink was still mostly gross. I still feel icky afterward. But I also got taken care of. After a nurse took my vitals, I waited in the lobby a while and read. I watched as the receptionist handed a daddy in the lobby a bottle of apple juice, and offered it to others in the room. Then, I was taken back to a room, where I could, like...relax.

When it was time for my blood to be drawn, the lab tech came to me. Not only that, she asked me if I had good veins, and where. I'm a hard stick, so I tell every lab tech I see the same thing (whether they ask or not): I have good veins in my forearms, and sometimes in the creases, but they're hard to get to. Most of the time, they go ahead and try for the one I've just said is a hard stick...and then they hurt me, and end up getting from my forearm. This lady? She listened to me. One stick, 2 vials, and done. And then she asked me if I wanted some chips. I about fell out of the chair, ya'll. Obviously I was shocked, but I managed to utter a "yes, that would be fantastic." She left with my 2 vials of blood and came back minutes later with my precious snack. (Which I proceeded to devour while watching TV with my feet up.)

When Dr. P came in, I made sure to mention how much I appreciated the snack. Her response just kind of shocked me. "...My best training to be an OB came from being a mom [from having babies]. I always dug in my purse for snacks after the glucose test. So when I opened my own practice, I make sure we keep snacks on hand for all my patients. Because I've been there." That right there is what I love most about this doctor. She isn't all about the medicine, although that is important. She focuses on the person. 

When I look back on Charlotte's pregnancy, and how much those doctors shoved me around, it makes me so frustrated. By the time they were done with me during my OB appointments and NSTs, I could hardly tell my head from my hand. I was rushed in and out of the OB clinic, antepartum clinic, and lab. I barely got answers to my questions, and I only half-knew any of the doctors I saw. Not to mention the fact that none of the nurses even attempted to get my [last] name right. Nor did they ever call me by name, or pretend to know my due date from my chart. I was a number. Just another pregnant military wife. 

It may have cost us a bit of money for me to be seen off post here, but it is 100% worth it. I'm not a number; I'm a person. I'm a person who is growing - and will birth - another person. I matter. My baby matters. We deserve to be cared for.

I Have a Bean

Today we had the, um, pleasure of taking Charlotte to the doctor for a well-baby visit. Yaaaaay. I've pretty much dreaded these visits from day 1, and they've only gotten worse as she's gotten older. 

See, here's the thing: I have a bean.

Little miss Charlotte was born weighing in at a whopping 5 pounds, 5.4 ounces. Oddly enough they had diagnosed me with gestational diabetes, which usually translates as "you're going to have a huge baby." Not so in my case, and part of me truly wonders if it was a misdiagnosis in the first place. Anyways.... She's been tiny from the start.

Even before we left the hospital she was gaining weight. The day after, she had surpassed her birth weight by a few ounces. (Hooray for breastmilk!) 

Somewhere along the way (around 4 months, I think) our pediatrician started to get "fussy" about her weight. Our first pediatrician pushed formula on me, and I all but told her to shove it. The second was much more kind, but still showed obvious concern. I get that it's their job to be concerned if their patient isn't healthy. But she is healthy. 

Come on. Look at that face!

She's always met developmental milestones, although sometimes she does things at her own pace. She's never had any kind of health problem, aside from jaundice at birth and reflux. That's it. And her reflux was never bad enough to keep her from gaining. She always gained something, just never enough for a doctor to be happy.

At first it really, really, really stressed me out. Which, if you're a breastfeeding mama, you know that stress only causes more problems with feeding and the amount of milk they get. The first time it was mentioned, I did everything I could to up my supply. I pumped, I supplemented using our freezer stash, I took fenugreek....you name it. And then when my baby was stressed out from me being stressed out, I said enough. I still took fenugreek, but I stopped freaking out so much. 

More recently, I have come to accept the fact that I have a bean. She will probably always be small. Doctors are going to guilt-trip or give really unhelpful advice, much like I received today. 

"You just need to feed her more. She should probably have 1-2 more snacks a day."

Sure. Because a snack is going to make her gain by leaps and bounds!! Plus, I'd like to know when the heck I'm supposed to fit one of those in during her schedule.... Morning: nurse, breakfast, 1.5 hr of play time, nap. Afternoon: nurse, lunch, 1.5-2 hrs of play time, nap. Evening: nurse (sometimes), snack, play, dinner, nurse, bed. I mean, maybe another snack after lunch? But I feel like that might be pushing it. She eats very well at meal times, and she often eats more than I think a baby her age normally would. *sigh* Just what do you do with that kind of advice?

Clearly we don't feed her or give her anything fattening. *eye roll*

P.S. This is one from our trip to Arkansas!

She eats. She nurses. She snacks. She plays, grows, and develops. I don't know what more they want from her. She's different. Sure, she's in the 0% for her age group. So what? All babies are different and therefore grow and develop differently. 

I mean, really. Does this look like the face of a kid who isn't well-fed?!

If I had any reason to believe she was sick, I would worry. But I don't, so I'm not. And all the worry-wart doctors can kiss it. =P 

Gosh, it feels freeing to finally say that! 

P.S. In case you're wondering, my awesome, 13 month old bean weighs 14 pounds, 6 ounces and will probably be surpassed in weight by her 11 week old cousin in no time flat. But that's ok. =)

Why I Hate Doctors

I don't hate all doctors. In fact, I've had a few that I really liked. But for the most part, I have a dislike for them. Why? Well, here's a little, teeny glimpse:

About a week and a half ago, we took Charlotte in for her 4 month checkup. Which basically means the doctor will give her a decent look-over and send her for shots. Yaaaaay. It's always a pretty rough day, but this day was more rough than usual.

As it happens, Charlotte only gained a pound and a few ounces between her 2 and 4 month checkup, weighing 10lbs 4oz. I found this a little interesting, but I didn't think much of it. The doctor comes in and immediately puts on her concerned face. She checks Charlotte's heart rate and such and then hands her back to me. We talk about the Zantac and reflux, which is going pretty well.

Then we get to the weight issue. She starts by telling me that Charlotte should be gaining more. That there's going to be a lot of brain development going on in the next few months (duh), so she needs to gain. I understand this, but I also realize that Charlotte was born weighing 5.5lbs. She's a little girl. The doctor asks me if I'm feeling the letdown reflex when I feed her, and I do. And then she says the one thing a breastfeeding mother never wants to hear:

"If things don't change, you're going to have to supplement with formula."

I was instantly sad and very, very irritated. I was sad because, as I've stated here before, I love breastfeeding. Not just because it's free and the best food for a baby, but because of the bond I share with Charlotte. I was irritated because instead of saying something like, "I think you should talk to a Lactation Consultant" or "Try ___ to help with supply," she immediately went to formula. She didn't even ask if I had breastmilk stored up to supplement with - which I do. Since the growth curve is based on formula fed babies' growth, not breastfed babies' (don't even get me started on that), of course they go to it.

It just really irritates me that the medical community always says "breast is best," but when something like this happens it's, "oh, you must give formula!" Never mind that supplementing with formula can decrease a mother's milk supply. Never mind that a Lactation Consultant can help with weight gain/feeding issues. Let's just formula feed! I had to tell her three times that I didn't want to take any formula samples with me. Three. Times.

After we left, I felt very discouraged and upset. Fortunately, I have some BFing connections and found that fenugreek can help with supply. So I went to Walgreens, paid a ridiculous amount for 100 capsules, and started taking it. I also ended up calling a LC to talk about supply/feeding issues.  In the meantime, I did end up giving Charlotte a few bottles of stored breastmilk as a supplement. This resulted in a brief preference for bottle over momma. Bottles have a flow, mommas only have a flow when the letdown happens. After giving her a few bottles for 2 days it took me the rest of the week to get her back to nursing normally. A week! I was so incredibly frustrated. Finally I realized that stressing and supplementing wasn't helping either one of us, so I stopped it. I kept taking the fenugreek, but everything else went back to normal.

This past Friday, we went back in to the clinic for a weight check. She gained 4oz in a week. I was worried the doctor would think this wasn't enough. I was prepared for some serious breastfeeding judgment to occur and was determined to stand my ground. And wouldn't you know as soon as the doctor came in she said everything was fine! I was at once relieved and irritated. I spent the whole week freaked out, thinking this doctor was going to rip me a new one (so to speak) because my breastfed baby wasn't gaining appropriately. She asked me if I supplemented any and I was over-the-moon thrilled to tell her that I didn't.

Honestly, I understand that there is reason to worry if a baby isn't gaining weight appropriately. I do. But it really bothers me (obviously) that they go straight to "supplement with formula." Whatever happened to giving a breastfeeding mother support and knowledge instead of cramming formula down her throat? Whatever happened to being supportive of a parent's wishes? I'm all for healthy babies, but it's downright ridiculous for them to offer no breastfeeding support.

If I hadn't had the knowledge and support from online friends/groups, I'm not sure what I would have done. I probably would have taken the formula and ended up weaning her or something because of this doctor's opinion/recommendation. And I would've been in tears for weeks because I wasn't ready for it. I'm still not. I don't know when I'll be ready for her to stop breastfeeding. Every time I gave her a bottle last week, it was all I could do not to burst into tears. I actually did cry a few times. (Of course, I also stopped taking the mini-pill so it could have been the wacky hormones too. I won't discount that.)

I'm thankful that I read forums and blogs about breastfeeding and have a little bit of knowledge on how to increase supply. I'm thankful that I have real-life and blog friends who have breastfed or are currently breastfeeding (shout out to my "bosom buddy," Bonnie! ;-)).

This is just one of several reasons I'm not so doctor friendly. I hate the medicine-pushing, fear-mongering, down-talking that doctors often do. Not all of them do, but it's far too commonplace in my experience. When I was diagnosed with GD: "You're going to have a large baby." When I was diagnosed with hypertension during pregnancy: "Your baby will have trouble getting nourishment. You could become preeclamptic." You must do this. This will happen. You need to take this medication. Your baby isn't growing properly. On and on and on. And you know what? I didn't have a huge baby, even though I was a diabetic during pregnancy. She kept growing fine, despite the hypertension and I never became preeclamptic. My daughter is healthy, strong and growing. I may be a new mom, but I'm not a complete idiot. I deserve some respect and support from any doctor I or my daughter go to.

Is that really so much to ask?

iSick

This week has been not-so fun. What with AF hanging around, windstorms knocking out hubby's internet and being sick with some sort of nasty cold.... I haven't had much fun. In fact, I've looked a little like this all week:

Except that I've been on the couch and haven't needed those kleenexes. Yesterday after calling my mom, I called my doctor's office. I was still pretty ticked off at the acute care doctor's assessment and I felt awful. So, I called and talked to a nurse who put me on the triage call list. 2 hours later, I talked to another nurse who completely overreacted to the fact that I have asthma and that I wasn't using my inhaler every 4-6 hours. What can I say? I'm not the best patient and if I know it's not going to work, I'm not going to use it. Seriously, she told me to call 911 if I couldn't breathe. Hi, honey. I'm 24, I just told you I've had this since I was 10. I'm pretty sure I know how to handle this by now. Thanks. After all that, she got me an appointment with my doctor for today. I also found out (and this is going to be a newsflash to all of you) that I can call at like 0630 for same-day appointments. Oh, if I'd only known...


Yesterday around 3ish, my throat started getting better. I also did a breathing treatment because I was tired of feeling pressure in my chest. This morning, my throat was basically fine. A little scratchy but nothing near what it was the day before. Go figure, right? The day I actually get to see a good doctor and my symptoms magically disappear. Well, not all of them. My asthma is still giving me trouble. 


As per usual, I got to the clinic about 20 minutes early...and my nurse literally sat down in the waiting room and waited for me to finish checking in. I am never too early for this woman! After all the initial stuff (including her asking me for the third time if I have asthma...), I went in the room and waited. Doctor comes in and asks me what's going on... I give her the whole spill and she - wait for it - asked me questions about my medical history with asthma! *gasp* She's actually concerned! Then she listened to my lungs for more than 2 seconds. Of course, they sounded fine. Not surprising. This is normal for me. 90% of the time I have trouble breathing, I don't wheeze. Either I'm super awesome at catching things early or I'm weird. =P Anyway, she said that because of my migrating symptoms (one day sore throat, next day fine, but congested) I probably have a cold that set off my asthma. And instead of giving me a breathing treatment and sending me packing, she gave me an inhaled steroid to help open up my lungs and relieve the pressure I've been feeling. What do you know?! A real doctor!


Even just after that, I felt better. Knowing that she actually listened and that she wanted to help me made me feel better. She also scolded me for not using a spacer with my inhaler. Sorry! Honestly, I haven't used one of those since I was diagnosed 14 years ago! I guess pulmonologists (lung drs) now prefer that asthma patients use them. News to me! I haven't seen a pulmonary doctor in a few years. =P I love my doctor. =) And I will no longer be visiting the ACC if I can help it. Virus my a$$!


The only good thing that's really come from this week is all the reading I've been doing! My poor little Nook has been working overtime lately! I've had to charge it twice this week! Partially because I left the wifi on and partially because I've really just been reading that much. What can I say? Daytime TV sucks! I've finished 2 books this week and started a third. =) Oh, and Jasper has been very cuddly lately. Maybe he's ok with having a cuddly buddy during the day for a change. I'd much rather have my hubby here to cuddle with and to go get me goodies but Jasper's a fairly decent stand-in. ;-)

Not much longer!!!! =D

Diagnosis: Ridiculous

Where do I begin?

About this time last night, my throat started hurting oh-so-badly. I tried everything I could think of (except for taking a shot of tequila because I didn't have any) to get it to stop hurting. Nothing worked. As usual when I'm hurting, I drugged myself before I went to bed. Pain = no sleep for Sarah. Pain killers = deep sleep for Sarah. Win! ;-)


Well, this morning it really wasn't any better. Sure, I could swallow, but it hurt. My chest was still tight from whatever asthma flare-up I'm having, so I decided to take my booty to the ACC (acute care clinic) as soon as I could muster up the energy to shower. I got there around 11 and the parking lot didn't look too crowded, so I was hopeful. Ha. There were quite a few more people than I expected. Maybe some of them live in walking distance? *shrug* 


Anyway, I took my number, filled out ridiculous paperwork (I mean, seriously, I'm already in their system...) and waited to be checked in. 30 minutes later, I handed Mr. Couldn't be More Quiet my paperwork, he checked me in, and I took my folder to the "triage" area. 30 more minutes, I get triaged. I give CPT RN my spill about how I've been having whatever this is for the past week. She swabs my throat twice and tells me it'll be about an hour before I can see the doctor. *sigh* Great.


1 hour and 15 minutes later, I get called back to a room. 15 minutes later, doctor comes in. The extent of his exam? Look in both ears, glance at my throat twice, listen to me take ONE breath and listen to my heart for 10 seconds. "Nope, doesn't look like strep. Looks like a virus that's "going around" and is hard to get rid of. We'll do a breathing treatment and then you can go to the pharmacy for your meds. " 


As soon as the door closed behind him, I groaned. A breathing treatment?! I've had a nebulizer since I was a teenager. I have the meds for it. I can freakin' do that at home! I was really hoping for some decent meds at the pharmacy. Meanwhile, the PA comes in and tells me what a breathing treatment is. Hello?! I'm 24 and have asthma. Chances are I've had it for a while and know what a breathing treatment is. I sit there and not-so-patiently wait while inhaling the medicine. I texted a friend here because just last week, she and her son were diagnosed with this "virus." I told her I wasn't sure I was buying the "virus" diagnosis.


I walked to the pharmacy where I waited another 30 minutes to get my medicine. The pharmacy technician walks back, with a bottle in her hand. You gotta be kidding me. It's freakin' lidocaine!!! I'm supposed to gargle with it. That's it. That's all he gave me. Here I've been struggling to breathe the last 5-6 days, and my throat is sore enough that I don't really want to talk and he gives me lidocaine?! Seriously, I could pick up some throat spray at the PX that would probably be just as helpful. Nevermind that my bronchial tubes are inflamed and swollen. Nah, I can handle that. If they call me tomorrow and tell me that my 2nd throat swab came back positive for strep, I am so going to be pissed.


I honestly felt like he diagnosed me with "a virus" because he wanted to get me the heck out of there since they were so busy. You know, I know that it's free for me to go there and I do appreciate that it doesn't cost me a dime. However, I don't appreciate being examined for 2 whole minutes and being immediately diagnosed with a virus because it seems like that's what it could be. I'm extremely frustrated. I had something similar in December '09 and saw a civilian doctor. Wanna know what I got? Allergy meds, a steroid shot, steroids in pill form and an antibiotic. That is what I call treatment.

I almost hope that I have to go back in a few days so that I can prove their diagnosis was ridiculous. Almost. I just want to feel better.

Best Prescription

I haven't had  "Monday" in a while. Usually my Mondays are pretty boring... I don't volunteer until Tuesday, so I usually run errands or do things around the house. Pretty low key. While today wasn't awful, it was the closest I've come to "a Monday" in a while. Y'all know what I mean. Mondays can be pretty rough.

I'm not much of a morning person and my day just didn't get started on the right foot. Joe's internet has been out for the past few days, so I haven't been able to talk to him. It's irritating, but it's not unexpected either. They don't have very reliable...anything in the sandbox, do they? It's still kind of upsetting when I don't get to talk to him in the mornings. Our time is limited as it is and our conversations are usually limited to iChat {or AIM on my phone}. If we're lucky, we get to Skype once a week. I'm certainly not complaining because I know others have much less, I'm just stating our situation. I cherish our morning/nightly chats. Morning for me, night for him. 13 hrs is quite the time difference!

So, first I didn't get to talk to my hubby and then I had another...unfortunate event. I ended up pretty frustrated about it, because I just don't understand. Still don't, really. Luckily, Melissa hopped on Skype not too long after that and I was able to vent my little heart out. As usual, she was about to give me advice {aka tell me to chill out} when she saw this verse on a blog she was looking at:

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. - I Peter 3:9


{I think it was that verse. I didn't write the reference down at the time, but this was all I could find when I went searching. Correct me if you want, Melissa. =)}

Dang it!! All my thoughts of having a confrontation or being very upset were ruined!! And, dang it, isn't it just like God to give that verse to Melissa to tell me to be good?! She's often the voice of reason in my life - telling me when I'm being ridiculous, worrying when I shouldn't be or doing things I shouldn't do. I'm thankful for that. Sometimes {especially with Joe gone} she's the only voice of truth in my life!

After that and chatting about other things, my day improved. I didn't get near as much accomplished as I wanted to, but I feel rested. I did the dishes and picked up a bit and other than that I didn't do much. I didn't necessarily sit on the couch all morning, but I didn't do much either. I did have a doctor's appointment to get ready for, so I'm sure that helped.

I originally scheduled my appointment for all the trouble I've been having with my shoulder. Really, it started around this time last year. It was always off and on, but recently it's been more "on" than "off," even waking me up in the middle of the night a few weeks ago. Since my original appointment got cancelled {who knew doctors got sick?}, I also went in today with a sore throat! Go me! 2 problems for 1 appointment! ;-)

She did all kinds of "tests" for my shoulder, seeing what I could do without it hurting. Nothing really bothered it. Come to find out, I just have a really freakin' huge knot right next to my right scapula (shoulder blade, for you non-medical types). According to my amazingly awesome and cool doctor, it's a common problem...and it just happens. Unfortunately, there's no magic fix. It takes stretching, ice and heat packs and exercise - all of which I've been doing. She also mentioned good posture would help. =( I have horrible posture. Probably not the worst ever, but it's not great either. Luckily, pilates helps but it also can cause my shoulder to spasm... So win-lose. She prescribed me my favorite a great muscle relaxer along with "extra strength" {aka my usual AF dose} ibuprofen...

And then she said it: "Massages will also be great to really work that knot out and relax the muscle."

Heck. Yes!!!!! My doctor just prescribed me massages!!!

Wait. Will Joe believe me?

Bright side: I now have a real reason to beg for a massage.

Down side: TriCare doesn't cover that. =P

Either way, though, I think it's safe to say that my doctor prescribed something that every woman wishes their doctor would. ;-)

Adventures in Blindness

I suppose not all of you watched the video I posted of Jasper yesterday. =P If you had, I'm sure more of you would have left more comments laughed your butts off! Anyway.

For some reason, I seem to have had what I'm going to deem "bloggers block" lately. I got absolutely nothing, but I feel the need to write anyway. Hope you don't mind. =)

I had the pleasure of going to the eye doctor today. Actually, it wasn't that bad. I'm just not a fan of having my eyes poked and prodded (quite literally), but for this girl who's about as blind as a bat it's pretty necessary. Especially because before today, I hadn't been in 2 years. =/ Not a good thing. I have issues with my eyes that need to be checked up on every year. Nothing serious, but one of those it-runs-in-the-family sort of things and the other is just a my-eyes-get-worse thing. I'm severely nearsighted {but not quite as bad as my SIL!}, and I used to have to get new glasses once or twice a year. So, it was kind of a big deal that I skipped 2 years. Not much you can do when you don't have insurance or the money to pay for new lenses, though.

Anyway, my visit today was actually really good. I have...issues with eye doctors and how thorough they are. I've had my fair share of bad ones in the past. Enough that my mom took me to Arkansas Children's Hospital when I was 13. Where I grew up, there just weren't/aren't very thorough doctors. At Children's, you pretty much get the full battery of tests and GREAT doctors. I absolutely loved my doctors there, even though it was always weird sitting in a room full of toddlers... I think it was worth it for the standard of care though.

I was very impressed with my new doctor. For some reason {sarcasm}, I assumed that my eye doctor would be about the same or worse than my PCM. I expected an old, crumbly building with less-than nice staff, etc. What I got was a hole-in-the-wall office that was clean, yet small, very friendly and helpful staff and a doctor that clearly knows his stuff. I've been to eye doctors since I was 6. I know my doctors and I know what they're supposed to look at/check for. Anyway, he was very thorough and told me everything that he was checking for. He even filled me in on some things that I didn't know before. Plus, it was kind of refreshing to have the doctor talk to me instead of my mom. That may sound bad, but she was always there, holding conversations with the doctors, making sure they did what they were supposed to, etc. Which is totally not a bad thing, but when you're in college and Mom is still asking the questions.... Yeah. =) I am glad that she did those things, though. Now I know all the questions to ask and what to look for in a doctor. She taught me well!

All is clear on the eye situation. My glasses needed a definite tune-up. Apparently, they hadn't been corrected for my astigmatism(s), and that's what has been causing all the blurriness. He gave me props (not his words), for knowing that something was wrong with my prescription. I almost said, "Did you look at my file? I've been in glasses for 18 years and contacts for 13. Pretty sure I know my stuff." But, I didn't. =P I was actually pretty proud that my lenses didn't need to be stronger AND that I see 20/15 with my RGP (hard) contacts. If you didn't know, RGP contacts are the best thing since sliced bread and you see a BAZILLION times better with them. They're a little more difficult to get used to, but once you do, you'll NEVER go back! Ok, there's my PSA for the day. =)

The only bad part about going to the eye doctor is that they dilate your eyes. I have blue eyes. Blue eyes dilate fully very quickly. If you don't have eye problems, you wouldn't know that they put drops in your eyes to make your pupils freakin' huge so they can get a better look at your cornea, retina and optic nerve. This process makes everything blurry and makes the light HURT your eyes in a very serious way.  Proof: I walked outside and was almost instantly blinded, with my sunglasses on. The intense Hawaiian sun does not help that in any way, shape, form or fashion. Then, when Mrs. C dropped me off at my house (she was my ride to and from because I KNEW I wouldn't be able to drive after) I walked into my living room and was blinded. *sigh* I shut all the blinds, turned off all the lights and laid down. Later, when my bestie video-Skyped me, she couldn't even see me!!! Being blind sucks.

I still can't see very well right now. Partially because I'm wearing my glasses that haven't been fixed yet and because the dilation drops haven't worn off yet. *sigh* It's been about 8 hrs... But, that's the way it usually goes. Mrs. C informed me today (she's a fellow blindie) that they used to make reversal drops. Dude, if they marketed those suckers, they would FLY off the shelves!! At least for people like me! I'm sure I'll wake up in the morning and everything will be well again. Now I've just got to find a place where I can get my new lenses. Mom is anti-WalMart, which is kind of understandable. I thought about the lenses place in the PX, but I'm not sure about that. LensCrafters is supposedly having a 50% off sale, but I'm not sure I want to drive to Honolulu. And what if they can't have them done in a day? I really don't like putting my contacts in first thing in the morning. Aaaaand now I'm being picky. =) We can't have it all, now can we?!

Oh, one last thing. I really, really one to get one of these:

Not that one specifically, because that's a Marine. I want a Soldier. =) It's from this place called Pardee Crafts; they make all of their stuff by hand. I have a serious thing for nutcrackers. I'm pretty sure it started when my best friend from high school invited me to see her dance in the Nutcracker. I went to one performance she was in (they had several) every. single. Christmas. I was a very supportive BFF. =P I went to the Nutcracker in '08 in Winston-Salem, NC. They have a school of the arts there (please forgive me, I can't recall the exact name at the moment) and it was just...amazing! Anyway. I love all things nutcracker now. I even bought one on our honeymoon at a Christmas specialty shop at Myrtle Beach.  =D I'm dying to have one made for me of my Soldier!!! It would look perfect under our Christmas tree, don't you think?! Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself.... It's still August. And I may not even be here for Christmas..... Someone, stop me from all this future planning stuff!!!!!!

Friday Randomness

Don't you just love it when I do posts like this?! ;-)

First things first, y'all are totally slacking in the Q&A department. I got two questions yesterday, two! Sad. =( I'd really like to do a Q&A post since, well, I bypassed my 200th post without realizing and and because I have a bunch of new followers! I'm also thinking of doing a "get to know you" post in the near future. There are so many of you I don't know! That said, please please please leave me a comment with a question. =)

Now that we're done with that... There's another little teeny thing I want to address. Some of you lovelies have given me blog awards and I may or may not have been a terrible blogger and have forgotten to post them. Uh, woops. I really, really do appreciate them! I've just been such a slacker lately. =P

***

Yesterday, I had my first doctor's appointment here in Hawaii. It was interesting, to say the least. First let me say that TriCare assigned me a civilian doctor even though I'm on Prime. Why? You got me. Supposedly, when we moved here the clinic on post was closed. Why they couldn't assign me at Tripler, I have no idea. Now that the clinic on post is open, they don't have room. *sigh* So, I'm just rolling with it. The building that the doctors office is in is a shopping center. Um, okay... It looked nice when I walked in, so I was a bit relieved. Then, they took me back into a room. :-/  It looked clean, but it was old. Like the bed thing had rips and tears, the tile in the floor had a big opening in it and everything else just looked dingy. *sigh*

It gets better. My doctor is a resident. This office is a teaching facility. My first thought: They've got to be hurting for doctors here. The resident was super sweet...and young. I don't really have an issue with that. I mean, everyone has to learn right? So, she goes through my history and everything as usual. Then she starts examining my knee. My knee has been killing me all week. I've had issues with it before so at this point, I was just ready to have someone tell me what's wrong. She looks at my knee and messes with it - checking tendons and ligaments. {I totally loved that she explained to me what those were. I didn't go to med school, but I'm not stupid, sweetie.}

After that, she went to talk to her attending {I so felt like I was in an episode of Grey's or something} about my wacko knee. then she comes back and examined my knee. She was supposed to measure the angle at which my knees and femurs hit, but apparently they don't have that sort of technology here. {See? Told you it gets better.} Really? Ya don't have a ruler or yardstick? Whatever. Anyway, the attending came in later and explained to me what I have: a deformed kneecap. Go me! Basically, my right kneecap is a little to the left and tilted. So, when I walk it rubs the bone underneath. Hence the pain! The cure: leg lifts and ibuprofen. So, basically what I'd been doing before only now I have a specific exercise to do. The 30 degree leg lifts will help strengthen a muscle in my quad. The attending said that if that muscle is strong enough, it will actually pull the kneecap back to where it should be. I guess I have doctor's orders to get my butt back in the gym. Joy.

***

I'm super excited about tomorrow!! I have a coffee and chocolate date with my new friend, Miranda! =D We set the date last night because we just can't wait to hang out. I have a feeling it's going to be a little scary how much we have in common. And I totally love that she already invited me to her house for Thanksgiving for a day of yummy food and football. =) Maybe this place will become "home" after all. At least for a few years. 

***

Another reason I'm excited for the weekend: Netflix! I got an email today {after finally returning DVDs I had} and I'm getting the final disc of Bones season 3 and Father of the Bride 2! Woohoo! Did I share my frustration with you about the whole Bones thing? I was watching season 3 on instant, and I was going to select the next episode when I realized it said "available on disc only." What?! I searched and searched and searched to see if there was any way I could watch it online. No luck. Apparently, there was an issue with the last disc? I'm thinking writer's strike, maybe. Who knows. I couldn't even download the last 4 episodes. Whatev. So, I've been waiting a while to watch those last four episodes. What makes it even worse, is that season 4 is on instant too. I couldn't watch the new season without finishing the previous one - that would just be wrong! I don't think it's very nice of them to do that to you. Not cool, Netflix. But, now I have 2 things to watch this weekend! I *heart* Netflix. {And no, they're not paying me to say that. =)}

***

Baby fever is rearing it's ugly head again. Yesterday with the doctor asking me if I'm sexually active {which makes me wonder if she even glanced at my chart...I am married...that means I'm at lease somewhat sexually active!} and then today with my SIL, Anna, asking me if I'm prego. Thanks a lot, sis! =P I also keep watching episodes of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant which totally doesn't help. Any time I feel funky, I'm like Oh gosh. I wonder if I'm prego. Especially with the weird heartburn out of nowhere yesterday. But, AF showed up this month {without me being on the pill} so who knows? Definitely not me.

***

I really need to get to workin' on my projects. I have a thing to make a calendar. {Deployment calendar?} And then I've started my patriotic wreath...I seriously need to get on that one. Which one should I do first?

Hope y'all have a good weekend!! =D