Deployment and Such

It's getting closer every day... And every day I have a breakdown. Ok, maybe not every day but for the last several days in a row. I'm really trying not to, but it seems like I just can't avoid it no matter how hard I try. It's right there in front of me, taunting, teasing me. The more I think about it, the more I think things like "it's not fair," "why me? why now?" "how can they take him and we've only been here for 2 months?" But, those thoughts aren't productive and they certainly do not help my state of mind.

So, in an attempt to think productively, I'm blogging. =) And I have some questions for you more seasoned military wives. As I'm sure most of you have noticed {if you're not new}, I'm a deployment virgin. This is all new territory for me, as are most things military.

First, I know that I need goals. I'm going to try to do weekly goals. Kind of a start small thing. Week #1's goal is to unpack our spare bedroom. So, there's that. Week #2 is the week my bestie will be here, so the goal that week is to have fun. =) I think I can handle that! Especially with her around! That's pretty much all I've come up with so far. I do need to find a church...and that one is still proving to be difficult. We visited another one this past Sunday and I kind of liked it, but it wasn't *the one*. Ya know? They're also waiting on their new pastor to arrive and take things over, so I may go back when he gets here. Anyway.

I'm planning on volunteering a lot of time at ACS. I finished the paperwork and now I just need to turn it in. I'm really excited about having something to do! Yeah, I won't be getting paid, but that's not the important thing. Plus, I have a feeling I'm about to learn a whole lot about military life. And that is definitely a good thing. Not to mention, I'll actually feel like I fit in somewhere on this island. This place has been culture shock central for me. Not always in a bad way, but I prefer to stick to doing things on post a lot of the time. So, there's volunteering.

Honestly, I don't know what to expect from deployment. I've learned so far to expect very little so that my poor little hopes don't get crushed. I've heard that things are going to be changing "over there" so that doesn't help me know what to expect. Some of Joe's buddies that are there now are on facebook all the time and I don't know if I should expect the same or if I should expect very little contact. Any advice for the newbie? =)

So, here's my big question for the moment: cooking, yes or no? While Joe was in BCT, I pretty much lived off of Lean Cuisine. No lie. I only cooked for myself twice while he was gone. The rest of the time it was sandwiches, Lean Cuisine, Chick Fil A, Taco Bell, my microwave version of a cheese quesadilla, and several dinners from Chili's [because I worked there so why not?]. So, do you cook while your hubby is deployed? If so, I'm gonna need some recipes for me!  I don't think I'm gonna be able to handle a whole year of frozen dinners...

Right now, I can only think about two things. 1) how much I'm gonna miss my hubby when he leaves... Coming home to a completely empty house is going to suck so bad! 2) how much I miss my Jasper. Things were so much more bearable when I had my puppy to come home to...

Any more suggestions/advice you have I will be glad to hear...er, see. =) And I'm sure I'll have more questions later.

Deployment sucks. The End.