Leave it to the Army...

Just when I thought things might be getting better/slightly easier around here, the Army steps in and screws everything up. Isn't that the way it always goes, though?

Move to Hawaii - husband deploys.

9 months pregnant - husband in WLC until the weekend before induction.

Adjusting to life with a newborn - husband works crazy hours.

Buy a house - husband in the field the week of closing.

7 months pregnant (and TIRED) - husband in the field all week, again.

And the most recent:

1 month old colicky baby - husband TDY for 5 weeks.

Oh, and it gets better: he wasn't even supposed to be on this mission. The guy he's replacing basically went to his doctor to get a note stating he couldn't go. (To be fair, he is having a procedure done, but it wasn't scheduled to take place until after the mission.) So all this time we've been thinking Joe would be on mock rear-d (you know, because it's not a deployment), instead of on this mission with a sub-par NCOIC. So he's going to be across the country, in the field, and miserable. Meanwhile, I'm here. With the kids - a colicky baby, and a tantrum-throwing, hunger-striking toddler. 

Fan-freakin-tastic.

Not only was he not even supposed to go, we found out less than a week ago. So I haven't even had the time to mentally or emotionally prepare for him being gone. Let's face it - I'm one month postpartum, and those hormones are still slightly screwy. Toss in some sleep deprivation and a baby who wants to do nothing more than scream or nurse, and yeah.... I haven't handled this very well.

I'm mad. Mostly at the guy who copped out of going, partially at the "powers that be" since there is no one else to fill this guy's spot. And if I'm being honest...I'm kind of mad that God would let this happen. I've had a difficult enough time handling Millie and Charlotte by myself during the day. Knowing that I'll have help after 5 or 6pm is all that gets me through some days. Now? Nada. All mama, all the time.

This sight alone just makes me mad and overwhelmed.

Listen, I know it's only 5 weeks and in the grand scheme of things, 5 weeks is nothing. But really? I just don't know if I can handle it. Unless you've had a colicky baby, I'm not sure you can understand my worries. It's different - completely different. It wears on you like nothing else ever could. I only thought I had a tough time with Charlotte when Joe went back to work. Looking back now, that was a cake-walk. Of course, having a toddler only compounds the frustration when your colicky baby is screaming in your ear. So that makes a big difference too. 

I love my girls, but it's been tough. Joe has been an amazing help since Millie was born (not that he's ever been less than helpful), and I'm just worried. Worried that I'll lose it. Worried that either one of the girls won't get all the attention they need. (More worried about Charlotte in that regard, because 1) she's a daddy's girl, and 2) she feels things - like the lack of attention - so intensely.) Worried about the lack of sleep, and help in the middle of the night. 

I foresee lots of this happening, just to make the crying stop.

Because it's gonna happen.

I just don't know, guys. Joe's grandparents have graciously offered to let us stay with them in NC for a while, and I am seriously considering it. I know it will be almost equally difficult to be in someone else's house, but I'm not sure I can go the whole 5 weeks without any help.

So, if you think about it, say some prayers for the 4 of us. We're gonna need all we can get.

Ketchup

Geesh. I feel like it's been a million years since I blogged last!! And we know exactly who to thank for that: Blogger. For me, it was on the fritz Wednesday night and Thursday all day. Grr. And I don't post on Fridays anymore because I realized that no one reads/comments on the weekends. And, let's face it, I live for comments. ;-) So, we have lots of catching up to do. 


Wednesday, the power went out at 0930. I was right in the middle of IMing Melissa and reading blogs. And the power goes out. Grrrr. Fortunately it was daylight so I didn't need to break out the candles. That is until I needed to take a shower. I have people on either side of me (think duplex, but quadriplex) so no window in the bathroom. After I killed some time reading blogs on my phone and doing my Pilates video via Netflix on my phone (seriously, what would I do without my iPhone?!), I gave in and took a shower in the dark. Ok, not complete dark. Candle light. Hello, 19th Century. {Well, almost.} I actually succeeded in taking a shower in the almost dark. Here are some photos from that lovely event.

Good times, I tell ya.

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Friday night, I had a little girl's night out with my lovely friend, Annie. We started with dinner at Chili's where I had a fantastic margarita (it had been way too long!) and a yummy burger. =) I told Joe beforehand that it seems a little crazy to me that we both worked there for so long and we still love the food. Anyway, after dinner we walked over to the theatre where we saw Something Borrowed. O.M.G. It was so great! Definitely a great flick to see with a girl friend. =) And I saw previews for several other movies that look good too. {*cough* Harry Potter *cough*} After the movie, we went to a very crowded Walmart for a few little things. Finally, we went back to her house... I stayed there until well after midnight!!! I forgot how much fun late night chatting was. =)

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Not much happened yesterday... Except that I had to drive 30 minutes one stinkin' way {which I know isn't that far, but it is for just one thing} just to get Jasper's dog food. The commissary has been out of it for three. weeks. now. I repeat: three. weeks. How is that even possible?! Don't they notice that there's something on that shelf that is missing!? Or do they just not care? Thanks to them, I had to drive all the way to Petco just to spend $5 extra on his food. And let's not even talk about wasting gas. Do you know how much gas is here?! $4.40. A gallon. So basically, I spent about $10 more than I would have if the commissary had been properly stocked. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Today was nice though. =) I got to talk to Joe on Facebook for a little while this morning. For the last two weeks, we've just been emailing so this was nice for a change. 

Church was amazing. We had a guest speaker from Kiev (Ukraine), but it sounded like he was Russian. He was an amazing speaker and had a great message. About having a spirit of appreciation. Would you like to guess who needed that message today? ::raises hand:: Yeah, I totally needed it. I get in the "I hate life" mode a lot... And I know y'all have heard me complain about living in Hawaii. I should really be thankful...for everything I've been blessed with even though my husband isn't here. It's very hard for me to be thankful for living here and for everything else when I can't enjoy it all with my husband. Very hard. Like I said, I needed it.

After church, Annie came over for a little sewing party! Miranda was supposed to come too but she's been feeling bad lately. Sad face. I'm hoping she got lots of rest and gets to feeling much better soon! We did have a good time chit-chatting, eating, sewing and playing with my crazy puppy who kept wanting us to play with him. Seriously, y'all, I have never seen Jasper so attached to someone before. Jasper loves Annie!! It's too cute. And I guess it's a good thing since he's going to be with her for the next week. 

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As luck would have it, just as I typed that last line the HUGEST roach I have ever seen crawled out from under my couch. I saw something moving behind my computer screen {I blog from the couch, duh.} and moved it to see. The following occurred:

Oh. My. God. 

Oh my God!!!!! 

::runs to the kitchen for Raid with laptop, while yelling::

::Jasper looks on from the couch::

::Raid sprayed, roach scurries across living room::

::yelling/squealing::

::standing on the couch::

::holding Jasper on the couch::

::more Raid sprayed 'cause the thing won't DIE::

::panicking/crying::

::Jasper tries to get away from the crying, freaking out woman::

Finally I decided that the thing needed to get out of my house. The vacuum won't suck it up (because it no longer sucks, well not on hardwood anyway) and my Swiffer sweep vac is to puny. My last option? The broom. I opened the front door (hey, it ain't stayin' in my house!), grabbed the broom, swept it up and ran to the front door. Think hockey. That just happened. Then I grabbed the mop to mop up the Raid on my hardwood floors. Crying ensues. Jasper decides this is definitely the time to hide and runs underneath our bed. I joined him (except ON the bed) after I mopped the living room for a good cry.

Here's a picture in case you doubted me.

Huge.

I'm just tired of this. Tired of having to do everything by myself. Tired of having to deal with everything by myself. Tired of wondering when I'm going to hear from him. Tired of eating and living alone. Just tired. And don't you tell me "he's coming home soon." Don't even think about it. I realize that I don't have much longer to go in this deployment. But after nearly a year, the thought of still having weeks left isn't that comforting. {Yes, I know I should be thankful that it's just weeks now.} It's still just as hard. And do you know what makes it harder? Seeing all the other homecomings and homecoming photos being posted all over Facebook. It's hard. So don't you dare downplay it by telling me "it'll be over soon."

::end rant::

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Tomorrow I start packing for my voyage home. I don't leave for a few more days, but it's always good to not procrastinate. I need to grab a couple things that I forgot from the PX and I think I'll be all set.  

Ugh, I think I still need to calm down from this whole roach debacle. I'm going to call maintenance in the morning and get them to come spray. I can't  handle ginormous bugs. No siree. 

Hope y'all had a great weekend!

A Sigh of Relief...Oh, Wait...

We made it to Charleston! Right now, I'm 'broadcasting' to you from our slightly icky wonderful hotel room. Yay for wifi!

The morning started off rough. We got up, took showers, had breakfast and waited for Mr. Customer Service to call about paperwork for shipping our car. Finally, around 0900 Joe called him to see what the hold up was. He emailed us the documents we needed and we were all set...except to get one of them notarized. *sigh*

Before we headed off to get it notarized, we had to say goodbye to the rest of the family. Last night, Grammy (Joe's grandma) threw a "luau" for us. =) So cute. All of the family that lives in NC was there. It was really fun...and Grammy and my nephew provided entertainment. I'll definitely be posting pictures later. Promise! We said goodbye to most of the family last night, which only left Joe's grandparents and my SIL, Anna, for today. Saying goodbye to them was the hardest part. We packed the car and said goodbye to Grammy and Gramps, and headed off to Anna's with Jasper. By this point, I was already a basket case. We said our sad goodbyes and I hugged my sweet puppy one last time before we got back in the car.

We attempted to get the title notarized at a bank. Apparently, this was not a good idea. She didn't want to notarize it because she wasn't certain where to stamp or sign. She didn't want to lose her notary on something like that, so she told us to go to the DMV. I. Was. Pissed. {Remember yesterday's post about my psycho emotions? Yeah.} I said something to the effect of: Ugh, that means we're going to have to wait for 2 hours, and we don't have that kind of time. Her response: I just don't know where to stamp it and I don't want to risk it. I walked out and left Joe to deal with her. Poor hubby. Then, I proceeded to throw a fit...I slammed the door open while Joe was asking me what was wrong and telling me to calm down. At which point I started crying and said, "It's just one more thing to deal with! I'm so sick of it!" We tried to find out where the closest tag DMV was, but couldn't. So, we decided to go ahead and drive to Charleston and maybe they could tell us what to do.

We (as in Joe) drove like mad people trying to get to the POV shipping place before it closed. It was a fun drive for the most part. I kept thinking Jasper was in the backseat though. =( We stopped at a gas station once and I turned around to talk to Jasper and realized he wasn't there. This is gonna take some hard work! Anyway, we made it to the shipping place around 1520. Woohoo! They close at 1600, so it was perfect timing.

We walk in and they asked for his orders. Joe asked about them needing a copy of the title and a letter of authorization, and she said:

"Oh, you don't need that for Hawaii."

Joe and I: absolutely speechless

*sigh* So, at least we didn't have to worry about all that right?! Woohoo! God is good and took care of all my insane worries for the day! We cleaned out the car, and called Enterprise to pick us up. The kicker: the car may not get there for A MONTH. One. Month. without a car. What the crap are we supposed to do for a month?!

Help! Suggestions? Advice? I have no clue what to do...we're already homeless, and now we're car-less?! Oh, Army, how I dislike you right now....
 

Awesomeness

After my total freak out post on Saturday, I was reminded of how awesome my lovely readers (and some fellow milspouses) are. =) I think I replied to most of the comments I receive through email because I was so touched by the out pouring of love all of you sent me. I felt like I wanted to hug each and every one of you! So, here's a virtual (((hug))) from me to you! =)

It looks like we're well on our way to that Hawaiian giveaway! I have 70 followers (as if you couldn't look to the right and see that...), so that means only 30 more to go! Remember, I'm only doing the giveaway if I have 100 followers. Thanks to all of you who have already given me shameless plugs, shout outs, and have added my button to your blog. You guys rock!

Going along with the "awesomeness" of the weekend... I spent most of my time with this adorable little girl.

 I finally figured out the settings on my camera and got some great shots this weekend. =D

I was going to share more pictures with you but apparently my internet connection doesn't want me to upload anything today! So, I guess I'll start this week off with a short post...and get to workin' on the last few details of PCS-ing while my hubby is off doing the recruiter thing. Yay me!