Roller Coasters Suck

Particularly emotional roller coasters. And I've been on one of those pretty much all day today. I know part of it is that dear Aunt Flo is coming soon and I'm sure the other part is that I haven't been feeling well for a few days. Add in a few frustrations and I suppose that's enough to make any girl a hot, emotional mess.

My day started out well enough, though. I chatted with Joe for a while and then Melissa and I talked for a while on Skype. Then, I decided I'd do a few things around the house. I bought a Swiffer Sweep Vac yesterday and I really wanted to try it out. It works like a charm!! Seriously, I think it might be one of the best things I've ever bought. There's still some Jasper hairs on the floor, but I can handle that. Then I mopped! *gasp* ;-) I did a few other things, and then my mom called to tell me that my Papa had been put in the hospital. He's been sick and refused to go to the doctor until today. At first they thought he had blood clots in his lungs. He's prone to clots, which is one of many reasons he was in the hospital last summer. She didn't sound too concerned, so after we hung up I decided to go about my day.

After lunch, I finally got out the door and headed to WalMart. You see, I have just become sort of addicted to Cinnamon Burst Cheerios. I found a box at the commissary a couple weeks ago and decided to try them since Mom had said they were good. Well, when I was at the commissary yesterday there wasn't a single box in sight. Luckily, Annie had informed me during a Twitter conversation that WalMart stocks them. =) Hence the trip. I ended up buying some sewing supplies and a couple other things I hadn't really planned on. Isn't that the way it always goes at wally world though?

After my unplanned spending, I decided it was time to wash my dirty car. Oh, I've let it go for so long. It almost made me a little sad every time I looked at it. So I went to an automatic wash, paid for the "deluxe" wash (though not their "best" choice) and waited my turn. After it was done, I was kind of excited and proud that I'd finally taken care of it. Then I got home. Turns out that it didn't work that well. My car is sort of clean... There are still streaks of dirt. *sigh* I see another trip there in my future.

On my way home,  Mom called to tell me that Papa just had fluid on his lungs and that they were sending him home with a water pill and potassium. I was relieved, but then couldn't help think of the "what ifs" and remembering events passed with him. It's hard for me not to be there when things like this happen...even if no one really wants to be there for it. I ended up crying and then getting mad at myself for being worked up when he's going to be fine.

Instead of being all upset all afternoon, I decided to be productive and work on a baby gift for a girl in the FRG. Her shower is next week but I figured while I was wanting to be productive, I might as well take advantage of it. About 1.5 hours later, I ended up with these:

2 burp cloths and a taggie/crinkly toy (I put cellophane in between the 2 pieces of fabric) for a baby girl! The only thing I had to go out and buy to make these was the batting for the burp cloths. Everything else I already had! I also bought a card, but I don't really think that counts. So now I'm all prepared for the next baby shower! Go me!

Next roller coaster moment? Waiting for Joe to get online. Tonight started his day off and we had set a "date" to Skype. I know his schedule pretty well, so when 2030 rolled around I figured I just wasn't going to get to talk to him. I silently cursed the internet in the sandbox and/or his NCOs making him work - whatever it was that was keeping him from talking to me. So, I turned on the Xbox and tried to find something good to watch on Netflix. Once I had decided on LOST, I went to the kitchen for ice cream. And whaddaya know? He gets online. =P 'Bout time!!

At first, we had a great connection... (which is extremely rare) Then, my webcam was be finicky so I tried to call him back. Then he called me back. It went on this way for a while until we decided to ditch Skype for iChat. (We think the main problem was that he hadn't downloaded the update for Skype and I had.) This is the first time we've been able to get iChat to work using video! I was pretty excited. =)

Not the greatest picture, but I'm used to that by now. I think he had a really great connection today. We had only one interruption and iChat worked! I'd much rather use iChat, but the video calling doesn't always work as well as Skype does. Anyway, Joe was even able to get Jasper's attention tonight. =)

 See him there in the bottom right corner? Joe was talking to him, and at one point Jasper even brought his blanket and put it up on my laptop!!! It was so cute! I wish I had gotten a screen shot of it, but it was pretty hard to maneuver. =P


One of the not so great chat moments happened when he said he wanted to get lunch. It's sad, really. He says he needs to go eat and I start crying because we don't get to talk face to face like this very often. *sigh* Guilt trip much? I didn't mean to do it, it just happened!! He kept asking me what was wrong and I just felt so bad telling him. =( I do want him to eat, but I also want to talk to him! Life just really isn't fair. =P Luckily the crying spell didn't last long. My hubby is really good at cheering me up:

For the record, I am wearing a shirt - just a tank top. =P 

Hahaha! Silly hubby! At one point, he was moving back and forth and he looked like a big 'ole pixelated sleeping bag or something. It was hilarious. Probably one of those "ya had to be there" moments though. =)


Overall, it wasn't a bad day. I just wish I wasn't so emotional sometimes. I'm more emotional while AF is around, and I get...emotional/touchy when I'm sick too. *sigh* Maybe both will go away soon. I'd really like to not have to go to the doctor again...and there's really nothing I can do about AF. But at least I know I have this hottie to cheer me up when I need it. =)

 Seriously, doesn't he look hot in that picture?!

Hope your weekend is off to a good start!!

Normal to Hormonal in 3.5 Seconds

Oy vey. It's been one of those days. Well, more like one of those evenings. My day was actually pretty good. I just can't seem to get a handle on these emotions and I have the lovely Aunt Flo to thank for that. She's not here full force just yet, but her presence is evident.

I cried last night while trying to get to sleep, which I just chalked up to my monthly deployment breakdown. I figure that since my hubby is gone I deserve at least one breakdown a month. I did feel better afterward and finally fell asleep. This evening? Oh so different.

First it was the old emails I had saved in a folder from my trying-to-get-a-teaching-job days. I remembered all the trouble I went through calling, emailing, interviewing and searching and how I came up with nothing and neither did Joe. I remembered how I loved teaching... How I always knew I'd be a teacher. Yet, three years after those interviews, calls and emails I'm not a teacher.

Then it was a card found in my household notebook, given to me by my former Chili's co-workers on my last day. I would never have thought I would actually miss working there. Maybe I don't and I just miss those friends. I miss a lot of my friends from home... But I spent a considerable amount of time with these people while Joe was in BCT. I saw most of them every day, 5 days a week.

And then my brain moved on from there to when I leave my friends here or vice versa. Then I was missing my bestie...and then my brain finally landed on the one person I miss the most. My hubby. That was all it took to turn me into a big, weeping hot mess. I shot what was probably the most unintelligible email ever to my bestie and about 2 minutes later my hubby got online. Praise the Lord! Within mere minutes of seeing his face, he had me laughing. How does he do that?! How does he take a weepy, emotional me and turn it into a happy me? He must possess some sort of magical powers. ;-)

In other news, I got some awesome things today. Both of them make me smile. I think we shall start with the prettiest. =)

Folks, you are looking at exactly 2.5 dozen roses. =) Pretty, pretty, pretty! These were supposed to arrive on the 16th (the same day as the tulips) but never did. Once again, my hubby got screwed by the online flower companies. Hence the 1/2 extra dozen of roses and an "we're sorry" note card. Hubby also got them to refund a small percentage of his money... Which really isn't doing very much. But, I really can't complain. I mean, look how pretty!!! =D Even better, they were waiting on my when I got home. Hehe.

I finally found a frame for my Blue Star!! I got it at the PX of all places. I spent probably way too much money for it (considering I could have gotten a cheaper one at Ross or WalMart) but I didn't feel like going anywhere else and I've been dying to put it up somewhere. Originally, I was going to put it on a shelf but it was too big! So, it's going to hang here in the entryway under the frame with our names in it (which is why you aren't allowed to see it =P) until the rest of the living room is properly decorated. I like it.

The best part about it? My husband had no idea what it was when I showed him. =P His reaction was exactly this:

"I like it! But, um, the star is the wrong color..."

Hahahaha! I seriously had to explain to him what the blue star meant!!! Ah, my sweet hubby. Silly as he is, he remains the only man alive who can cheer me up from thousands of miles away. =)

Success and Failure

Today was full of highs and lows. Personally, I prefer days that are all one or the other. Seeing how I'm a member of the girly emotional club, I'm not sure it's always possible to have those. Anyway.

I woke up after hitting the snooze twice, and read my email. Don't tell me you don't immediately pick up your phone and check the morning "news." Joe had emailed me, letting me know that he was going to be doing PT late and that I could sleep in if I wanted. SCORE! Although, I was already pretty much awake so sleeping in was out. I did manage to stay in the bed until after 0800 though. =P

I got up and waited for Joe to get on iChat. He's "grounded" Skype because it hasn't been cooperating with us lately. Lol! He finally got on and we talked for a while before he had to get some sleep. (Oh the joys of being 13 hours apart.) Then I did more Pilates and talked to Melissa for a while! See what a good day I was having?

After lunch, I decided I would test out my sewing machine's buttonhole feature. After a few minutes, I had sewn my very first buttonhole!! Yay, me!! I was so stinkin' excited!

Do you see it?

Just some scrap material. In case you were wondering.

Anna. ;-)

What about now?! =D

After I put in some laundry and took a quick shower, I started on my next project for my SIL! I'll just go ahead and say what it is, because it's not like she doesn't know. =P I am sad to inform you that I spend about 3.5 hours on a laptop cover. *sigh* I attempted a new pattern...and one that was slightly confusing. After sewing part #1, I realized I had done it completely wrong and didn't feel like ripping the stitches out and starting anew. Instead, I cut more fabric. It's a good thing we got what was left on that bolt! I got back to work and things started to look up.... Until the tutorial I was following confused the crap out of me. It was like my mind just turned itself off. I sewed the outside perfectly...after ripping a seam or two. The lining? Notsomuch. I sewed. I ripped. I sewed. I ripped. I sewed. I racked my brain. I sewed.

I still can't believe it took me that long. I'll show you a picture when she gets it, but for now I'm just glad it's done and looks good. I guess all that effort was worth it. =P

I got to talk to Joe again tonight. Unfortunately for him, though, I ended up complaining about things that either 1) aren't necessarily true or 2) don't really matter. Poor guy...I totally dumped my feelings on him. All he was doing was trying to get ready for work and here I was complaining left and right about being "stuck here so far from everyone" and feeling left out of any and everything that goes on with my friends/family back home. I really am going to have to get use to this at some point. For right now, I just don't do well with being so far out of the loop. So, as we're chatting back and forth I ended up in tears.


Wha--?! Here I am happy to talk to my hubby... Then I end up complaining... And then crying?! What the H?! To top that, I needed to eat dinner and ended up burning it. =( It wasn't horrible, but I do. not. burn dinner. Ever. Cookies? Yeah, occasionally. Never, dinner though. 


Thank God I had some Skinny Cow ice cream in the freezer and a good book to read. Tonight might not have been salvageable. 

Me and My Emotions

I'm not good friends with them right now. They're making me all sad and grumpy. Who knew it was possible to be both of those at the same time? *sigh* I think I'm going to blame Army Wives. Yup. I got disc 1 of season 2 in the mail today, thank you Netflix!

I fixed some very, very yummy Broccoli and Cheese Soup (thank you, Campbell's soup!) and popped in that DVD. Big mistake. Disc 1 is a seriously emotional one. In case you don't remember, (SPOILER if you don't watch Army Wives) Claudia Joy's daughter dies. =( And the subsequent episodes are mostly centered around that and Roxy's husband, Trevor, who is deployed. Insert lots and lots of tears here.


I don't know why, but I'm just feeling so...overwhelmed {maybe?} right now. I don't want to be here, in Hawaii. I want to be home. Wherever the heck that is. It's sad that I don't even know the answer to that question. And we've only been a military family for a year! A year! Oklahoma/Arkansas or North Carolina? Definitely not Georgia or Hawaii. Most definitely not Hawaii. Living here is almost like living in a different country. I feel like an outsider every time I go somewhere that isn't an Army post, Airfield, etc. The beach is pretty welcoming, though. Always tourists roaming about there. I'm sure they just assume I'm a tourist too. Unless, of course, they see me pull up in my car with my "Army Wife" license plate cover and post decals.

I don't really hate it here. It's just not home. I don't think it ever will be. It's a nice place to visit, for sure. But living here? I just don't know. It's not like I thought it would be. I thought it would be like when I moved to Georgia. Same stores/restaurants, different mix of people. Oh, sure I knew that some of my favorite stores are nowhere to be found within 2000 miles [of ocean]. It's a total culture shock, living here. I didn't expect that. I mean, who would? It's freakin' part of the US, right? Suuuuuuuuuuuuure it is. The people are different, their language is different, prices on everything off post are ridiculous, and every time I walk into a building I feel like all the Hawaiians are staring at me.

I don't think everyone who is native to Hawaii hates us military folk. But, we're not exactly welcomed here either. I kid you not, I have walked into a restaurant with Joe and not only were we the only "white folk" in the room, we were also the only ones speaking English. Half the time, I can't understand people. It's not always that bad, but sometimes it really is. There are only a few names of towns on this island that I can pronounce without fearing I'm going to be laughed at: Honolulu, Pearl City...no, that's it. I feel like shouting when there's a road name I can pronounce too. I love trying to give my address over the phone. I have to spell it out every. single. time. Even when I'm calling on the island.

I feel like I live on a completely different planet!!! Part of the US? Suuure. No wonder it's considered OCONUS. Hawaii is totally OCONUS. Actually, I think it should be this: FROCONUS - Far Reaches of the Outer Continental United States. I think orders to Hawaii should be all-inclusive - classes on Hawaii's culture and language for every family member.

Ugh. Maybe I just feel this way because the Army snatched my husband from me before I fully adjusted to living here. Or maybe it's just my hormones getting back at me for going off the pill. Why, oh why did I think it was a good idea to 86 the birth control while my husband is on the other side of the planet?! *sigh* Maybe I just have a really bad case of the Mondays. {Hey, it's still Monday here for another hour!}

The upsides to living here: the beach and new friends. That's all I've got for now.

I had a good weekend... On Saturday I met up with Miranda, her hubby and cute little monkey for lunch and a trip to the beach. For some reason, I didn't quite think through the "trip to the beach" part and wore a super cute outfit...to sit in the sun and bake in. Way to go, Sarah! There's that deployment brain again! Despite my deployment brain issue, I had a really good time. =)

Sunday, Miranda and her fam joined me at church! It was a little different than what they're used to, but I'm hoping they come back!! It's always nice to have another friendly face around. =) Afterward, they went home and I went over to Mrs. C's house for some super-yummy food and hilarious games. I didn't get back home until around 1900! Considering I left my house at 1030, that's a pretty big deal. Nothing like good friends and good food. =)

I suppose I should stop being a Negative Nancy. I did get some good news today: Jasper is OFFICIALLY ready to come to Hawaii!!!!! =D He had his last vet's appointment today (shout out to my wonderful, amazing SIL for dealing with all that) and everything is lookin' good! One week from today, Jasper will be here with me, keeping me busy! I sooo can't wait! My cuddly puppy will be back! =D Let's just pray he makes it through his plane ride without being completely traumatized. He is crate-trained, so it shouldn't be a big deal. He gets motion sick {I somehow feel like he inherited that from me, but that's just not possible...}, so I'm kind of worried about that. And he'll be stuck in that crate from about 0500 to about 2030 (eastern time...Hawaii time would be...2300 to 1430). That's a long time. =( But, as long as he makes it here in one piece I suppose I can deal with the rest. Lord, help me! ;-)

Before I end this incredibly random, venting, emotional post go, I have to remind you that JG is having a Scentsy giveaway! Her ONE requirement is that she have 30 people enter the giveaway. I have no idea how this happened, but she STILL doesn't have 30 people entered!!! So, please, please, please get yourselves over to her blog and enter!! And while you're there, tell her that I sent you. Please and Thank You!!! =D

Too Excited, Too Early

There's been a lot of junk going on in my life for the last few days. No details - they're far too personal to share here. Let's just say there's been a big, big, big issue going on and there's nothing I can do about it. Only God and the one person can fix it.

I've been an emotional mess for the most part. One minute I'm ok and dealing with it, then I'm angry, and then I'm just sad. It's hard. Especially when there's not a thing I can do and the one person I want/need to talk it over with is halfway across the world.

Most of the weekend, I felt like I needed to hang one of these on my front door (or around my neck).

My house has been a wreck until today. I finally got up the motivation to do the dishes, clean of the counters, sweep the kitchen, walkway and living room, and to clean up the living room a bit. Next on the agenda is the bathroom. =/ Yuck. Not that it's nasty. I just hate cleaning the shower. Or, should I say, my back hates cleaning the shower.

For some reason today, Joe and I started talking about R&R. Well, ok not "just for some reason." ;-) Anyway. We decided that we're going to get a really nice hotel room for the first night he's here. I think this is a fabulous idea. We didn't even have a honeymoon suite when we got married. We had it nice, alright, but it wasn't niiiiiiice. Ya know? So, we've decided to spoil ourselves a bit. We're talking big room, nice view, room service, jacuzzi/big bathtub kind of nice. =) The problem? The price. Apparently I haven't been in Hawaii long enough to realize that hotel prices are more expensive here too. =P You'd think I would have realized that by now. One room I looked at was about $259 and the other was $320. For one night. Uh, OUCH!!!! We're ok with spending a decent amount of money, but I really don't want to spend a fortune on one night. *sigh*

Anyone have any hints, tips or advice? They'd be appreciated!

After searching online and getting all excited, I realized two things.

1. We have no R&R dates set yet. {And even then, it's subject to change. Ah, military life.}
2. R&R is still a looooooong way away.

*sigh*

Someone, please help me keep my brain in check!!!!

Hello, Emotions. How Are You?

Geez. Emotions just rock, don't they?

I'm sitting here minding my own business, watching the marathon of Cake Boss. {I have a new found addiction to TLC...} All of a sudden, I see this commercial for the iPhone 4 that showcases it's video camera. A video camera that allows you to Skype with your family, friends...your deployed husband. Then, there's this scene...you know what, just watch the video...you'll know what I'm talking about.



So, I teared up immediately. 5 minutes later, I'm laying on the couch crying my eyes out over a freakin' commercial! What is up with that?! *sigh* I'm really close to assuming something...but I want some, uh, confirmation first. Oh, Lord I can only imagine.... Anyway, let's not go there right now. That's an assumption for another day. =)

So, more emotional issues earlier in the day... Papa is back in the hospital. Did I tell you that they sent him home on Friday? I can't remember now. Anyway, they did. My dad seemed to think that it was because of the holiday. This morning, he had trouble breathing. My mom ended up driving Nana and Papa back to Little Rock {a 3ish hour drive from where they live}. Let me give you a little back story on Papa. When I was about 8 years old, he was put in the hospital because he was having trouble breathing. He had blood clots on his lungs. He was in the hospital for quite a while - I don't remember how long because I was little - and they ended up moving closer to us (and his doctors) for that reason. As far as I know, he's been taking blood thinners ever since.

Flash back to Friday when they sent him home. While he was in the hospital, they had him wearing pump things on his legs to keep clots from moving. So what do you think happened when they sent him home? They took those things off. Now, let me ask you this. If you were a doctor and you knew that your patient had a history of blood clots - not to mention an aneurysm in his brain - would you let him go home without anything to keep those things from moving? Would you even let him go home in the first place?! I sure wouldn't have.

So, they did a CT at the hospital. Surprise, his lung(s?) is full of blood clots. Mom was mad. Nana was mad. I'm mad. I'm sure Mom gave them an earful, as she should have. They told her it was a mistake to let him go home, but they didn't forsee this problem. Really? You couldn't forsee blood clots moving when there was nothing to stop them? I swear, I could have punched someone. Mom said that they were going to take him into surgery, but he started vomiting blood. Not pure blood, but there was some in it. {I apologize if any of you have weak stomachs...} So, they didn't want to start surgery and find that he had an ulcer. Now he's on a high dose of blood thinner and they're hoping that will work. Needless to say, I'm freaking out.

The one good thing that happened to me today was a 2 a.m. wake up call from my sweet husband. =) I didn't end up going to bed until after 1 a.m., so he had a hard time waking me up. Woops. He'd sent me a message on FB and had written on my wall, but I didn't wake up. I have my phone set up to notify me as if I were getting a text when FB sends me a notification. Apparently, I was out. Luckily, there was a guy in the same building (MWR?) who let him use his phone card. We talked for 45 sweet minutes. He apologized for calling me at 2 a.m. and I told him that I'd gladly forego sleep to hear his voice. =) I think we're going to get more phone calls than Skype time because of the connection, or lack thereof, in his room. I'd prefer Skype, but phones are a little more reliable I suppose. As long as I get to see his face every once in a while, I think I'll be ok. It was good to know that he was there, and getting situated even if his roommate is a man-whore. Oops, did I say that out loud? I won't say anything else, but I was not happy to hear about this. I'm sure your minds can figure it out. =) As much as I enjoyed talking to him, it's really hard to get a week's worth of info to him in one 45 minute phone call. And of course, I cried when he hung up. Does anyone not cry after that?

So, there are my emotions from the day. It wasn't a bad day, it was just an up-and-down kind of day. Thanks for letting me get it all out there. Please tell me I'm not alone!!

Hope your Monday was better than mine,