Peace

For a while now, I've really been struggling. With life, with stuff, with things, but mostly with God. I don't talk about my faith on here all that often, but it's a huge part of who I am and I really feel like I can't ignore this topic any longer.

I wish I could say that I can't pinpoint a day or time when this struggle began, but I can. I know exactly when, where, and why I feel the way I do. I've been struggling with my faith - my relationship with God - since I miscarried in February. While I do feel like I have been healed from that trauma (well, as much as you can be...nothing will make me forget), I also know that I haven't had any kind of real peace in my life since then. 

I've started and then stopped devotionals and Bible studies. I've prayed and not really felt a connection. I've fought with my husband. I've slacked on housekeeping and other things, when in reality there is a lot I could be doing with my time. My temper is short. My emotions are raw. I'm lonely. I feel everything....and nothing.

I didn't figure out the reason behind all my issues until a few weeks ago. I started searching for MOPS groups or PWOC or women's small groups at church. Initially I did it because I wanted friends.... But then it dawned on me that what I actually needed was a whole lot more Jesus in my life. 

After I read about Diana's little boy, I finally picked up a devotional book my MIL sent for my birthday. And wow, the brief message was dead-on. 

Ever since that day, I've felt like God is trying to tell me something. To be still. To let go. To let peace - His peace - take over. There is so much running through my mind these days. Too much. Housework. Whatever Charlotte is doing. Deployment on the horizon. Our second baby's due date this month. Fears/worries about this pregnancy. Family drama. (Deployment and due date are the biggest factors right now.)

Letting go is hard. It should really be easy, considering I know His plans are for the best, but it's not. Letting go means I can't fix it. Letting go means I don't have the answers. Letting go means trusting Him to take care of it for me and in His own time. My instant-gratification self has a very hard time with that one. 

"We must trust that He will reveal His mysteries when they have served His purpose for our growth and His glory. We must remember that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NIV)"

Thankfully, I have tools at my fingertips to help me - the book my MIL sent (it's called Jesus Calling, in case you're interested), She Reads Truth devotions, and my PWOC study and group. I know this is a challenge - a chance for growth and to bring glory to Him. I get that now. But it doesn't make it any easier. And neither will facing a deployment with two under two. I have no other choice but to have faith and repeat these verses to myself....for as long as it takes for them to sink in.

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. ~ 1 Corinthians 14:33

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. ~ John 14:27

I have told you these things, so that in my you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. ~ Psalm 32:7

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will stregnthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~ Isaiah 41:10

...Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. ~ Joshua 1:9

Not JUST Weight Loss

Several weeks ago I posted about a 5 week challenge I was doing. The challenge was not just to start exercising and eating better, but to be "active" in reading (and memorizing and meditating on) God's Word. It was exactly the kick-start I needed. 

I'd been stuck in a rut for far too long.... Eating what I wanted, when I wanted and how much I wanted. It wasn't a good thing, even though eating all those good things sure was (and is!) nice. Even though I was exclusively breastfeeding (up until the 1st of October, anyway), my weight wasn't coming off. But it's hard to expect to lose when you don't exercise and don't have some sort of control over what you eat! I knew I needed to do something, but I couldn't (and can't) make the change on my own. It's too easy to say, "I'll try again Monday" or "Maybe when Charlotte's doing ___ I'll try" or "I just don't feel like it." A true procrastinator can find any excuse to avoid doing something. 

Thanks to my bestie and my fabulous SIL, we've worked together on this challenge. The challenge has already ended, but we're still keeping each other accountable. We check in on FB daily. We talk about our struggles, our victories, what encourages us and what convicts us. It's a pretty awesome system, especially when you factor in the fact that we each live in a different state and time zone. Obviously I'm the furthest one out, but it's still pretty darn awesome. With their accountability and my Bible studies, I've been able to do a lot. I'm on my way to a total lifestyle change, and I'm already seeing some of the benefits.

This is me when I started the 5 week challenge, weighing *gulp* 160lbs. {I can't even believe I just put this number on my blog...}

And this is me just a few days ago...weighing 151.5lbs. Yes, I lost 8.5 pounds in 5 weeks!

I know the recent photos are more zoomed out, but I didn't realize that until I went to edit them a day later. *sigh* But, seriously... I can't believe how much I've lost in just a short time! I'd love to attribute it to breastfeeding and working out, but that's not the whole story.

So what have I done? I've done a lot, though it may not seem like it. 

Bible study. 

As I said before, I'm on my way to a lifestyle change. And that is thanks to God and God alone. The big game-changer for me is my way of thinking. Not thinking of food as the enemy, but sin and Satan. (Which is actually the truth.) Not thinking of exercising as another chore (although it certainly feels that way sometimes!), but as a way to honor God. And the way I've changed my thinking in these areas is through the Setting the Captives Free study I'm doing, called The Lord's Table. It's a 60 day, very in-depth study on sinful eating habits and how only turning to God can free me from them. Yes, it's true, you can have sinful eating habits. I'm an overeater. I may not look like one, but I am. I want to change that. I want to have a healthy body and I want to not feel overwhelmed by cravings.

I'm also participating in studies done by #SheReadsTruth. I'm not always "attached" to the online community there, but I do participate in their studies online. I love them. It's usually a very great add-on to the Captives Free study. God has a wonderful way of tying them in together when I least expect it.

Exercise

Exercising is part of having a healthy body. I don't believe God ever meant for us to be lying about all day... Or just going about our day not being active. Exercise has always been difficult for me. I have allowed my asthma to be an excuse to not work out in the past. And yeah, some days it keeps me from doing a full workout. I can't use that excuse, though, because I can do something. I'm not an invalid. And I need  to do something. Working out actually helps when I'm doing it consistently. Imagine that. 

I've been doing Lindsay Brin's Postnatal Boot Camp 2-3 days a week. It's a heck of a cardio and toning DVD program with all sorts of different workouts. I'm doing her 12 week program because it's easier than piecing together my own. But seriously, it's hard. It's not Jillian Michaels hard, but it's close. I'm also doing Pilates on the other days. I take 2-3 rest days because, well, I'm not in great shape. Also, I think working out 4 days a week is a feat when you have a 6 month old, laundry, dishes, meals and a husband to take care of.

"Diet"

It's in quotations because I'm not dieting. I'm just changing my outlook on food. The Bible (and God!) specifically says there are no foods I cannot eat. None. But it does say this:

Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:23

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:31

So I'm trying my hardest to only eat when I'm hungry - really hungry. I can convince myself I'm hungry when I'm really not. Like when I'm bored or upset or lonely. It's hard not to eat during those times!! And when I'm "PMSinsg"? OMG is it hard. And when I do eat, I try very hard to only eat until I'm full. Not "I'm going to explode" full, but "Yeah, I think I've had enough" full. Learning the difference can be hard.

Reading

I've started reading the book Made to Crave. I'm only a few chapters in, but I can relate to everything the author talks about. It's refreshing to know I'm not the only one dealing with an addiction to food, giving in to cravings and eating too much during a meal. And it helps to be given ways to understand that we humans were made to crave...but we weren't made to crave food or anything here on earth. God made us to crave Him. He made us to crave a relationship with Him because He's the only one who can really, truly satisfy us and bring meaning to our lives. 

So there it is, folks. My "diet" and weight loss plan. Not much of a diet and not much of a plan, but more of a "this is how I'm doing it." More accurately, this is how God is working in my life. And it's awesome. And hard. And amazing. And hard. Overcoming this, losing weight, and changing my lifestyle isn't easy. But I know - I know - it will be worth it!

Living & Active: Update #2

The end of week 2 and beginning of week 3 doing this Living & Active Challenge. Now that I'm this far in, I have to say that it's been great! The first week was really hard, but I'm finding it much easier to keep up with exercising, eating right and keeping up with my Bible studies. Woo!

Peak 313

Last week, I worked out 4 times and went on a few walks with Charlotte. The exercising I've been doing is Pilates and my Postnatal Boot Camp DVD. I love doing Pilates! The Boot Camp DVD is hard. It's hard for a reason, though, so I'm keeping up with it! I know it's great for me and it's not that long anyway, so I'm keeping up with it. Some days I want to quit right in the middle of it, but I know sticking with it is the best thing for me.

I started having salads for lunch last week, which has helped a ton. I don't have one every day, but I feel like I'm eating healthier by having them more often. I load my salad up with a bunch of veggies (peppers, broccoli, onions, etc.), cut up some deli meat, add some cheese and a little bit of dressing. YUM! It fills me up way more than I thought it would too. I'm also eating oatmeal for breakfast now. This is a big deal since I'm so much of a cereal person. It killed me not to eat it every morning when I was pregnant and had GD. But I'm liking the oatmeal (which I eat with pecans on top =)) more every day! That's really the only thing that's changed. I still make a good dinner for Joe and I and I still have a some sweets after dinner...but not much!

The biggest thing that's changed (and in such a short time!) is my way of thinking. This is mainly due to the Bible studies I'm doing, specifically Setting the Captives Free. I mentioned last week that I've struggled with overeating. I've turned to food to satisfy me instead of turning to God. And when the food didn't satisfy me, I turned to more food. Then I'd feel guilty for eating so much, knowing I should take better care of myself... It's really an endless, evil cycle to get caught up in. And I didn't realize it until I started this study.

Turning to food instead of turning to God is a sin. No matter how you slice it, that's what it is. The longer I'm doing this study, the more I'm able to really see it. No diet can "cure" this or help me get rid of the sin in my life. Sure it can help me change my behavior, but it can't change my heart which is where the real issue lies. Diets and programs (Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, calorie-counting, low-carb, South Beach, etc.) fail because, while they encourage people to change, they can't lead people to God who is the ONLY ONE that can help us and really fill us.

As I read in the study, "There is a [point] when it's time to be done with sin for good. We want to make a full turn away from sinful eating habits and discipline ourselves to eat properly and purposefully." This is where I'm at right now. I fell into a sinful trap because, well, food is good! It tastes great and it satisfies my hunger pangs. But when I'm using it to satisfy my soul... It doesn't work. I'm done with it. I'm ready to put this behind me. I'm ready to eat well and be satisfied by God and what only He can offer.

The result of this is repentance. This means turning away - walking, running away - from my sin and turning to God. I've already been forgiven. All I have to do is claim that forgiveness and live in the freedom it offers me. It's only by God's grace that I can overcome this and live a life that isn't focused on food - what will I eat next? I don't just want to change my behavior for the time being so that I can lose weight. I want a lifestyle - a heart - change. Only God can do that. And He is doing that in my life.

I can already see a huge difference in my life. I'm not planted on the couch, thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner (although I do have to plan for that) or what I'm going to eat for dessert or for a snack. I feel empowered to make good, healthy choices. I feel better after working out than I would if I didn't. {Most days, anyway.} But here's the thing: I'm not doing this. God is. He's working in my life and changing me from the INSIDE out. I can't do this on my own. I'm nothing without Him. I can only do it because He's given me the strength and the grace to do so.

And praise God for the change!!! I'm loving it and I love that I have Anna and Melissa to keep me accountable and to pray for me about anything. I'm also loving that I lost 3 pounds last week! Just one more thing that's changing. =)

Living & Active Update

Last week was my first week of the Living & Active 5 week challenge. If you missed my first post on it, the goal is to work out 4 times a week and keep up with a Bible study. I thought it was going to be really hard, but it went so much better than I thought it would!

Anna, Melissa and I started a private FB group where we can keep each other accountable and pray for each other. It's really great! Every day we post things we found in our Bible study and what we've done to exercise (or not). We talk about our struggles and even other things going on in our lives. I really wish we'd done this sooner! Today, we posted some "before" pictures. I'm going to share mine here because I can use all the extra accountability I can get!

Yup... That's me. 5 months postpartum and still only around 15 pounds down. I feel certain that I gained weight after she was born because I ditched the GD diet. And, well, I really missed ice cream. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Like most women, I really miss my pre-pregnancy body! (Thankful for the baby, but not the extra weight!)

Last week I exercised 4 days! That's a big step for me considering it's been one day here and there for the last 5 months. I did a postpartum bootcamp DVD twice and then one of my favorite pilates videos twice. The bootcamp DVD is HARD! I know it'll be worth it, but some days I just wanna quit right in the middle of it. I've loved pilates for a while, so at least I can actually look forward to that workout.

I'm currently doing TWO Bible studies. This from the girl who has struggled keeping up with one for forever!!! The first one I'm doing is a #SheReadsTruth study. I love those girls, the accountability and the online community! They actually make it fun to do one...which is what I need. =) 

The second one I'm doing is called Setting the Captives Free. It's also an online study, but it's way more in depth and focused on certain sins. Mine, for example, is overeating. Overeating IS a sin because we're replacing a deeper relationship with God with food. Our bodies and souls are meant to crave Him, but we often feed it with food instead. The biggest thing I'm trying to grasp right now is that God doesn't want us to deprive ourselves of any particular foods. He wants us to have it all! He just doesn't want us to overeat or try and replace Him with it. I keep finding myself thinking "no, I can't have that. No, I can't have this." God doesn't want us to follow a diet plan... It's hard to get away from! I keep thinking in calories or carbs when I don't need to! But I do need to really listen to my body and know when I'm actually hungry and not just bored. Food isn't the problem here (or even certain foods); indulging, especially overindulging, IS the problem.

The Bible studies have been really key for me thus far. It's encouraging me and it's teaching me a whole new way of thinking. This is a really good thing. I'm tired of having to follow a certain diet's rules. I'm tired of being told (and believing) that Food X is bad for me. In reality, no food is bad for me! {Unless you have an allergy or medical condition that really keeps you from eating something, of course.}

Even though I'm not losing weight (yet), I'm still really glad I decided to take part in this 5 week challenge. I know that by the end I won't have just done a diet or kept up with a certain routine, I will have a lifestyle change and that is more important than any diet or workout regimen!

Getting Healthy: Living and Active

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

Last week, my oh-so wonderful bestie stumbled upon a blog that's all about fitness...and God. This particular blogger has started a 5 week challenge and link up that started today. It's called Living and Active. The idea is that we get healthy physically AND spiritually. Of course, we can get healthy in one area and not the other, but isn't better to be both?! YES!

You can find a much much better description at the blog, Peak 313 Fitness, but she's got a Bible verse we're memorizing - one for every week. I think it's a good idea to do more than just memorize a verse, so I'm also doing a Bible study in the morning. She's also providing a workout regimen if you don't already have your own. 

{Link to her blog here. Her grab button isn't working.}

Today is Day 1 of the challenge, and so far so good for me! I got up with little missy this morning, did our little morning routine and then as soon as she went down for a nap I started my Bible study. I'm currently doing #SheReadsTruth's Proverbs study, so that's what I worked on. Funny thing (or maybe not so funny considering it is God we're talking about) several of the verses in the chapter we're reading in Proverbs today really hit home. What I got from it was that I can't do this losing weight thing on my own. I mean,  I can, but either it will fail or the weight will just come back. I have to do it through God and with people who are going to keep me accountable! This is where the memory verse comes in:

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:12

If it's just me, I can talk myself out of exercising, eating well or spending time in the Word. With another person, it's better. But with three (or more) we can do this! My SIL, bestie and I have decided that we're all going to do this challenge. We're keeping each other accountable through Facebook. We're checking in with each other on Bible study, eating habits and workout habits. I know it's only the first day, but we've all done great! I was able to get my workout in during Charlotte's first nap of the day. I don't really like doing it that early, but it's better to get it out of the way!

Truth be told, I don't always do well working out and dieting on my own. I do ok when Joe's away (deployed or otherwise), but it's harder when he's around. Not that he's necessarily a bad influence, but I cook when he's home and that can make it hard. I can't just pop a lean cuisine in the microwave when he's home. =P

So. Day 1 is done and it went well. Hopefully the trend will continue with Day 2+! If you're going to join the challenge, I'd love to know! 

Hope your week is off to a great start!

Reading Truth

A couple days ago, I stumbled upon a blog. I still don't even know how I found it. Does that ever happen to you? You're reading a blog, click on a link...then another...and another and suddenly you're on a page and can't remember how you got there? It's happened to me too many times to count in the almost 3 years I've been blogging. Anyway, I'm seriously glad I stumbled upon this blog.

The name of the blog - if you haven't caught it already - is She Reads Truth. Basically, it's a blog that gets women together to read (and discuss) the Bible. Awesome, right!?

Truth be told, I've been severely slacking on reading the Bible and doing any sort of devotional. And I can't even blame birthing a child for that because it went back further than that. I attempted a couple Bible studies/devotionals while I was pregnant, but couldn't stick with one. I've also tried starting reading plans and devotionals on my Bible app (YouVersion), but those haven't stuck either. I've even had the daily reading emailed to myself in an attempt to keep up, but obviously that hasn't worked either. I knew that I needed something but I guess I just hadn't found it yet.

When I found this blog, I knew almost immediately that I should start. I read a little bit about the blog and authors, and then I looked up their newest devotional/reading plan on YouVersion. I was sold! And if that wasn't enough, the online community keeps me wanting to read. They're on Twitter, Instagram, and (obviously) blog land.

I started the new plan just a few days ago and I can already tell a difference in myself. I'm wanting to read, wanting to research and wanting to grow in my faith. It's not a whole bunch of reading to do, which is really my main problem when it comes to reading plans and devotionals. If I have to read several passages I either try to fly through it (and don't get much out of it) or I get really bogged down and can't focus. With this, there's a little bit of scripture reading and a little bit of teaching, the rest (the soul-searching) is up to me.

A snippet of today's reading I posted to Instagram.

I feel like this is something that speaks to my everyday life, especially things I've been struggling with. The readings I've done so far have really encouraged me and helped me figure out what's really behind things I've been dealing with lately. 

I just wanted to share this with you guys - not because anyone asked me to, but because it's helping me and I thought it might help some of you too. Especially if you're like me and struggle to keep up with Bible readings.

Oh, and you don't have to have YouVersion's app to join in on the reading. You can find it online, too - just click here. =)

Pray Together, Stay Together

If you've been in church longer than 5 minutes, I'm sure you've heard this common phrase. It also happens to be something Joe and I believe.

Source: morganallendesigns.com via Sarah on Pinterest

With all the junk going on in our lives lately, Joe and I have really been wanting to do a Bible study. Not just any study, and not just picking up the Bible and reading something. We both do better if we have a little bit of "homework" to do for a study, kind of like we did when we had premarital counseling. The problem is, we have no idea what study to do.

I've searched for studies on Amazon and a few other places, but we just can't seem to find anything worthwhile. That may be because we can't actually pick it up and thumb through it or it could be because we just don't know what we need. Either way, we could use a little help.

Source: google.com via Sarah on Pinterest

We'd really like to get into a good habit of reading the Bible and praying together. Not only will it be great for our marriage, it'll be good for Charlotte too. Since she's come into the world, we're realizing more and more how important it is that we have a good marriage and good relationship with God (not really in that order, though). If we're modeling good behavior for her now, when she's an itty bitty baby, it's going to be easier for us to do it when she's older. And when she gets to an age where she's able to understand and question, we're planning to do a family devotion time. =)

So have any of you done a bible/book study with your hubbies? If you have and you loved it, please share!

P.S. Thanks for all of your sweet comments on my last post about Mom drama. I hope you'll continue to say prayers for me in that area....I need it!

What NOT to Wear

Hey y'all! {Yeah, I just watched the ACMs. Funny how that rubs off on ya.}

So, I usually do the getting to know you thing on Sunday but I've been meaning to update you on my Bible study. Since it's Sunday, I found that pretty fitting. =) I thought it was going to be a couple of days before I finished the first week, but it turns out that there are only 5 lessons a week! I gotta say I kinda like that. Then again, I've been getting a lot out of this study! I'm going to take tonight off and then pick it up again on Monday so that I can get on the normal schedule. Anyway.

I should probably remind you of the study I'm doing. It's called Me, Myself & Lies: A Thought Closet Makeover. The premise is this: we talk to ourselves all day, everyday. For some of us, we tell ourselves how bad we are - I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I can't do anything right, I'm a terrible wife/mother, etc. Basically, we beat ourselves up often without realizing it. We walk around all defeated, beaten down and depressed but can't figure out why. The "why" is because we're too busy focusing on our struggles and not on what God says is true.

So far in this study, I've been able to identify all (or most) of the things in my "thought closet" - the things I tell myself on an almost-daily basis. Because I don't want you to struggle with this either, I'm going to share my journey with you. This will include verses, points from the book that spoke to me and the nasty things I say to myself.

Day One:


- Even Moses beat himself down. Exodus 4:10
- Like Moses, we often choose our "I am" [statements] on what we do and our struggles. We should choose our "I am" based on what is actually true. {See Psalm 86:2 and 139:14}
- No matter what I say about me, I am what I am by the grace of God. (1 Corinthians 15:10)
- "The Enemy of your soul would love to stifle you with self-condmenation, lies and ill-fitting words so your thought become a jumbled mess that controls you... As God to show you if you have filled your thesauros [thought closet] based on who you truly are or if you have confused your identity with your struggles."


Day Two:


- I was asked to write down the "I am" statements I say when I beat myself up:

  I am so stupid

 I am fat

 I am a screw-up; can't do anything right

- "Why couldn't I control the gray matter between my...hair and between my own pierced ears?"
- These thoughts leave us with a tangled mess of emotions. They "take up residence like old prom dressed, and we clothe ourselves every day with whatever we store there."
- Next, I was asked to fill in my thought closet box. Then, she asked us to look up verses that describe the potential of human thought...one that doesn't involve God. (Verses: Ps. 10:4, 56:5; Isaiah 59:7, 65:2, Romans 1:21) The results?

  - There is no God, distorted words, evil, devastation, destruction, rebellion, foolishness. 

- So, basically God hasn't been existing in my thoughts. Ouch.
-Then we looked up verses describing God's thoughts. (Psalm 40:5, 92:5, 139:17; Isaiah 55:9*, Jeremiah 29:11*) The results there?

 - many, wonderous, deep, precious, higher, peace, hope

- I'd say those are quite a bit different from my own. So, how do I fill my thought closet with words and thoughts that are worth wearing and thinking about?
- By committing my works to God (Prov. 16:3) and relying on His Word (Hebrews 4:12).
- In the margin, I wrote "Rely on His words, NOT yours!!"

Day Three:


- Today is all about meditating. But, what does meditating mean? I wrote down, "think, consider, mull over, speculate, study, view, weigh." So, it doesn't really mean sitting down cross-legged on the floor saying "ooom" until you magically feel better. =P
- Once again, she asked me to write down things from my thought closet, specifically the thoughts I meditate on most:

I wish I hadn't said ___.

I'm overwhelmed.

I can't do this.

-Then, I circled bins that characterize my most frequent meditations. This one was rough.

my body

my insecurities

my plans

my fears

my future

my family

my situation

my failures

my past

The ones I didn't circle are almost worse:

my faith

my needs

my wishes

my rights

my pride

condition of our world

other

Ok, so really just the first one hurts...

- Colossians 3:2 tells us (paraphrased) that we need to focus on positive things and heavenly truths {or "things above}. Isaiah 55:8-9 says that God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts. So, in Col. we're told to focus on things above and in Isaiah, God says His thoughts are above ours. Hm. 

- She then asks us to list some of God's wonders and words that we can focus on. Later she asks if we're able to think about our worries, plans, etc while thinking about the good God has done for us. I answered "no." I can't think of anything else but good while I think of what God has done for me, or Bible verses I've memorized. Hmm.

- "Meditating on God's wonders and His Word elevates your thoughts... You are not bound to earthly wisdom, but have the music of majesty and the lyric of our Lord filling your thought closet! ...start paying attention to where your thoughts wander during an idle moment."

Day Four:

"What did your mind's 'soundtrack' consist of yesterday (or just now)?" I answered, "worries, frustration"

Describe worry: "thinking about things that might happen"

"Worry is fixating or meditating on what if rather than what is. Our English word worry comes from the Old English wrygan and the Old High German wurgen. (imagine two dots over that 'u') Both mean 'to strangle.' When we worry, we choke out the life-giving truth that should be filling our thought closet."

This day was really long, and this post is super long already so I'll give you the "gist" of it for now. 

-Psalm 19:14 says that "the standard for our words and meditation is not merely what is acceptable to us; rather, it is what is acceptable to God.  In our own sight, our self-talk and meditation may appear fine, but imagine God listening to you talk to yourself."

- "Would you still say the same things to yourself and carry on the same meditation" if you said all of these things in His sight? My answer: probably not. Go figure, right?

-"God cares about what you say to yourself because He cares about you."

- Philippians 4:6 says to pray when the "what if's" begin to crowd and overwhelm you.

- "If you start to play the soundtrack of worry today in your thought closet, push the pause button and notice that they song isn't played in the key of truth. So turn your worry into a prayer. That will focus your mind on things above and invite God's comfort..."

Day Five:

- Today is all about focusing and listening to the truth - God's truth.

- Luke 4:22 describes the reaction of a crowd to Jesus' message. They were amazed, astonished. Jesus was kind and gracious.

- "Truth is always authoritative and gracious. Authoritative words should never be harsh, and gracious words should never be without power."

- John 1:14, 17 characterize Jesus as grace and truth. If Jesus is our standard, our "soul talk is to be permeated with grace and truth. If it's not gracious, stop talking to yourself that way. Throw those thoughts out of the closet...stop meditating on it."

- Names like loser, stupid, fat, and idiot are "not gracious; it is harsh...destructive, and it's not true! It is not based on the authority of Scripture."

- "John 8:32 says the truth will free us. When you wardrobe yourself with one of the names hanging in your thought closet, you feel imprisoned because it isn't true or gracious!"

- "Sister, here's a hard truth. To call yourself an untruthful, harsh name is a sin. It's an insult to God, demeans His workmanship, and devalues His creation."

- "To be like Christ is to be full of grace and truth. If you are a name caller, meditate on these Scriptures: Proverbs 3:3, 8:7, 12:17"

I know this is already long, but I hope you've gotten something out of it. I left a lot out... I can't begin to tell you how powerful this study is. And I'm only one week in!! Already I feel a huge burden lifted off of me... All because I'm not calling myself names all the time!! Sure, it still happens but now I am so much more aware...and aware of how it affects my moods. When I catch myself thinking things like, "Oh my gosh, why did I say that?! I am so stupid!" I stop and consider what the truth is... I repeat verses in my head that I've studied. I pray. I remind myself of the good things God's done for me. 

Even better, God somehow meshed this study into the sermon from church today. I absolutely love how He does that!! I kid you not, the first thing our guest pastor had us do today was this:

"Stand up, hold your Bible in the air and say: 'I am what God says I am."

Ha. Wow. Then he said this: "You are what God says you are. Not what your mum says you are; not what your dad says you are. You are what God says you are. What He says is, is." Pretty sure I could have gone home right then and gotten what I needed out of the sermon. It was so much more, and I encourage you to listen to it here (it's the first one on the list, 03 Apr) when you get the chance. Also, if you'd like to do this week's lessons (the ones I just posted about), you can go here to download them. OR you can get the book from Amazon. =) 

So, how's your [thought] closet looking?!

P.S. Don't forget to enter my book giveaway! Ends Monday at midnight, EST!