Ooooh, how wrong I was! The first weeks were much more difficult - and painful - than I thought they would be. Thanks to the support of my MIL, SIL and bestie I stuck with it. After those painful weeks were over I was able to really enjoy it. I want to share a little bit of the ups and downs in case someone, somewhere is struggling and finds this. I desperately needed encouragement during those weeks and was fortunate to find it nearby. Not everyone is so lucky.
Our first breastfeeding attempt happened right after Charlotte was born. We were able to do skin-to-skin immediately after she was born, something I'll always be glad I did. During that time, I notice that Charlotte was "searching." I tried to help her latch, but I couldn't get it. Of course now I realize that I was outside of my mind tired and trying to help a newborn latch was something I wasn't quite ready for. The nurses helped, but Charlotte had a hard time so they suggested they bathe her while I took a breather. After her bath we tried again. I know that she got a feeding because I remember nurses helping me and shoving my nipple into her mouth. {Ok, that's what I felt like they were doing. Probably not what actually happened.} I also know she got a feeding because I remember when they checked her blood sugar again it was normal. {I had gestational diabetes and Charlotte's blood sugar was low after birth. After her feeding it went back up!}
The day after she was born, I started to notice a crack on the tip/front of one of my nipples. It was sore, but it wasn't super painful. I didn't really think much about it. I knew cracks could happen, so I didn't let it bother me too much. At some point, a lactation consultant came by {I highly recommend everyone wanting to breastfeed do this!} and helped us get a good latch. Fortunately, she only had me make minor adjustments. I was thrilled because we were doing so well! I was still new to it, but after the LC came by I felt better about myself.
The day we left the hospital (2 days after she was born), my milk started coming in. I didn't realize that's what it was until later that night when I was changing for bed. I'm not sure exactly how I missed it because, oh my word, my boobs were huge! I mean, I never thought boobs could be that big and hard! LOL! Joe's reaction was pretty priceless too. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was something like, "Oh my gosh, babe!"
The next day is when things started getting rough. The "girls" started hurting because of all the milk and my nipples started cracking around the nipple instead of on the front, as you see in pictures in any breastfeeding book/guide you'll read. Thankfully, my bestie mentioned doing warm cloths before feedings and cool cloths after. I was surprised how much it helped! My neighbor had bought me these things you can put in the fridge/microwave for just that purpose. I used the heck out of those things for at least the first week.
I mentioned before that once my milk came in "the girls" were hard. So hard, in fact, that Charlotte had an even harder time latching. My MIL (who arrived the day after we came home) suggested that I pump some before feedings, which ended up helping a lot! It relieved the pressure on me, helped Charlotte latch and also kept her from choking. During the first 6-8 weeks, Charlotte choked a lot because my let-down reflex was so strong. It still is but she's used to it now.
The biggest struggle I had was with Charlotte's latch and my very sore, very cracked nipples. Both of them cracked around the nipple, as I said before. I'm not sure if this is normal or not, but that's what happened to me. I also felt like the cracks were really deep. Apparently my MIL did too because later she told me she was worried they were gonna fall off. LOL! Honestly, I was somewhat worried about that too. My bestie just told me to stick with the lanolin. My SIL suggested Butt Paste. I ended up using both. After a week I switched back to lanolin because wiping off the Butt Paste almost made things worse. {Tip for cracking: lanolin, lanolin, lanolin, lanolin! No lie, I went through 3 tubes of that stuff.}
Charlotte had the hardest time latching... Oh, it was so frustrating! I knew she really was trying and I'm sure it was just as frustrating for her. She'd wiggle her head back and forth, stick her hands in her face/mouth, and sometimes she'd latch only to have a bad latch and we'd have to start all over. She was so tiny (weighing 5lbs 5oz at birth) that sometimes I thought I was going to break her while trying to get her to latch. And every time she latched it hurt. Oh, did it hurt! Usually it was not because she had a bad latch (trust me, you can definitely tell the difference!) but because my nipples were so cracked. It would hurt for about a minute and then subside for the rest of the feeding on that side. And then when you're done with the first side, you have to start on the second! Ack!
Feedings were so rough for about the first 6 weeks. There were absolutely times when I wanted to give in, say "the heck with it," and give her a bottle instead. Thankfully my bestie and SIL were there {via text/phone} to encourage me to stick it out. And having my MIL here those first two weeks to help was amazing. Just having her there for support helped a lot. =)
Anyway, almost 4 months later, I am in love with breastfeeding. This was one thing that I really looked forward to when I was pregnant. Why, I don't know, except that it was/is something I'd obviously never done with a baby. I've babysat a lot, but never really bonded with a baby that way. And, y'all? It's amazing. I can't even describe how it impacts the bond I have with her. It's just...a very sweet thing.
I don't know if you can tell, but sometimes when she eats she throws her arm over her face. Or she puts her hand on her face. And sometimes, when she's being extra sweet to Mommy, she just lays her sweet little hand on me. I just love it! Just recently she's started looking at me and smiling while she's eating. It's the cutest thing ever. And the fact that she's getting her nutrition directly from me? Priceless. Literally. ;-)
In case you haven't noticed, I really love being able to breastfeed Charlotte. I'm so, so glad that I stuck with it even though it was difficult and painful. If the price tag {or lack thereof} isn't enough to keep you going, just think of that amazing bond. Even when I was having a hard time I still found myself saying, "I just can't imagine giving her a bottle all the time." And I have actually given her a bottle of my breast milk before. It's just not the same! There's a special, unique bond there and I wouldn't trade that for anything!
I hope that someone who's having a hard time with breastfeeding finds this and is encouraged. If that's you, please let me know! I'd be happy to keep encouraging you via email, Twitter, FB - whatever! I promise it's worth it. =)
And if you have any other questions about breastfeeding, I'd be happy to answer them. If I get enough questions, I'll answer them in a separate post!
How do you feel about breastfeeding?
