In the "struggle" for power between the Army family and {so-called} needs of the Army, what do you think usually wins? Despite all the crap they spout about family being so important and always caring and being there for the family, it's the Army that wins our Soldiers' time most often. Between deployments, training, and day-to-day busyness, they get my husband far more than I do.
I guess I've sort of been in a honeymoon-type phase for the last 8 months. I forgot that the Army takes precedence over me and what I want. I forgot that they have a say in when my husband will be home and how often we talk to/see each other. I forgot. Silly me, living in a dream land where my husband comes home for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Starting this week, Joe will be working 6 days a week, 12 hours a day, from now until sometime around August. So basically, he's working a deployment schedule without actually being deployed. I remember what it was like talking to him while he was deployed. We'd talk for 30 minutes {sometimes an hour} and then he would go to bed. So for the next 6 months, that's what I'm going to get of my husband. He'll get up early for PT every day, possibly come home for breakfast afterward and then be gone for the next 12 hours. He'll come home tired and I'll get a good hour out of him, if I'm lucky.
It's highly unlikely he'll be going to any more of my OB appointments. He probably won't be able to go to child birthing classes {which is partially my fault for not scheduling them yet}. I'll get him for one whole day a week, which will probably be Sunday...when we're at church all day. No more date night. No more lazy Saturdays.
For fun, they're adding in a free trip for him to WLC {Warrior Leadership Course} in just a few weeks. 3 weeks of being in the field... But he does get weekends off and he stays on the island. So there's that, I guess.
But the BIG kicker for me is... What about when our baby girl gets here? Sure, he'll get 10 days of leave when she's born, but what about after that? He'll rarely get to see her awake, hold her, play with her... And then that leaves me home all day with a newborn, doing all the housework because - let's face it - I'm not going to have any help. I was already concerned about us after she gets here and I can only imagine the stress these 12 hour workdays are going to add to having a baby.
I was already starting to stress out about being prepared for her arrival and now I have all of this to deal with. Part of me almost wishes they were taking this whole FTX thing somewhere else instead of staying here on island. That would mean he wouldn't be here at all, but at least I'd know what to expect... With this, I have no clue. I mean, really. He may get to go to child birthing classes with me...and he may not. He may get to go to an OB appointment or two...or he may not. He could be on day shift or night shift. At least I'd know what to expect if he were going to be gone for a month. But 6 months of 12 hr days and 6 day weeks? I have no clue what to anticipate except to prepare for the worst.
Maybe that's not the best way to respond to this, but it's all I've got for now. I know I should probably be thankful that it's not a deployment. And I am thankful that he'll at least sort of be around....but I know that even sort of being around will be hard. Maybe even harder than an actual deployment.
I know we'll get through it. We got through a really rough year of deployment and came out better for it. But really, it just sucks that the Army wins again.
