Feelin' Like a Failure...

So yesterday was the glucose test... It came back 9 points high, so now they want me to do the lovely 3 hour test. Yesterday I was upset about it, but several people reminded me that sometimes that just happens and it's very possible that the 3 hour will come back normal. So I rallied and felt better about it today. Until I went to my OB appointment, that is.

Apparently, I've gained 12 freakin' pounds since my last appointment. Twelve. I didn't really think about it until I saw the midwife's face. Because I thought for sure it'd been a mistake or that..well, I'm really not sure. But the last time I weighed myself I was, in fact, 12 pounds lighter.

{via}

So then she asks me about my eating and exercise habits. I'm nowhere close to being a "health nut" and I don't work out every day. I also don't eat crap all the time either. Sure, I don't make super healthy meals all the time but I also don't see them as being totally unhealthy either. I do have issues with the sweet stuff, though... And I'm thinking that's where my problem might be.

Anyway... She seemed pretty concerned. I mentioned that it might have something to do with the fact that we were on the mainland for 3 weeks and eating habits are never great when traveling. {I'll even admit to you right now that I ate Chick fil A at least 5 times while we were there.} And do you really think I did any sort of exercising while I was gone? No. We sort of left it at that, but she said that if I gain too much before my next appointment she's going to have me see a nutritionist. And that it could be possible that I have "underlying diabetes issues." CRAP.

So now I basically feel like a failure. I mean, yeah, I did eat a lot while we were gone...but no more than I would have if I wasn't pregnant. I know that the weight will most likely come off once she gets here, but I don't want to be unhealthy either. I really really don't. And I'm pretty sure gaining 12 pounds in one month is not healthy, even if I gained a normal pregnancy amount and some holiday weight.

I just don't know what to do. I know that beating myself up about it isn't really going to help, but I'm upset about it and well... I don't know how to change that. Like I said, I don't sit around the house all day and eat crap. I usually snack on fruit or yogurt. I have decently portioned lunches and I make mostly healthy dinners. We eat out maybe twice a week... I guess the only thing that I can really work on is the exercising. I just don't know what I'm going to do because it's not like I'm going to lose weight - nor do I really want to, for baby's sake. 

So any idea how I keep from gaining much in the next 4 weeks?