Here's my problem: {the complete, 100% honest truth} I don't want them to come.
Now, don't start by thinking that I hate my in-laws. I really don't. I enjoy spending time with them. I just feel like R&R should be for us. I mean, he IS my husband. And it will have been at least 6 months since I last saw him. In my mind, it makes sense for me to want to spend ALONE time with him. In their minds, I'm sure they just want to see their son. Totally and completely understandable. But, how would my MIL feel if her husband were at war for a year and got to come home for 2 weeks in between? Would she want his family coming in and hanging out for one of those weeks? Honestly, I'm tempted to ask her sometimes. But I feel like that would be completely out of line. Not to mention I'm pretty sure I'd officially become the black sheep of the family. That wouldn't be good either.
Is it completely terrible that I feel this way? I mean, he's my husband! I get to have him for 2 whole weeks out of an entire year. In our 3rd year of marriage, we will have spent a whole 33 days together. And he's going to miss at least the first month of the next year together. Isn't that enough? While he will still be here - and yes, I will be spending time with him - I just don't think it will be the same with other people around. Especially people that don't already live on the island. You know how it is when your family visits for the first time at a new place - you take them around town, show them the sights, go out to dinner, etc. And you find yourselves exhausted at the end of the day. That's not exactly how I'd like to spend R&R. But, I can't just call my MIL and say, "Hey, Joe and I decided that we don't want anyone to come visit during R&R." Or, "Hi. I hope this is ok, but I feel like having you here would interrupt our time together." I know several moms who'd be upset about that.
I don't know. I've mentioned it to Joe and he just says that he doesn't want to miss out on seeing family. I get that. But, honestly, I'd rather spend time with my husband than my family. I can sacrifice that for my husband. Isn't that the way it should be?
I feel so incredibly selfish even talking about this. I feel horrible for wanting to ask my husband and his parents to forego spending time together just so I can have him to myself. And I'm honestly hoping that the one date gets chosen over the other so I don't have to have a hard conversation with my husband.
What are your thoughts on this? Reminder: this is our first deployment, so we've never EVER experienced anything like this.
Am I being ridiculous? Should I just give in to the "family time" and sacrifice the "husband and wife" time?
*sigh* I just miss my husband.
{Photo taken while we were dating.}
Please help!!!
